To properly join the toe cult, you must be prepared and outside by exactly 6:07 am, preferably somewhere with greenery, like a park. You must be dressed in either something yellow, something silly, like a fih shirt or a meme shirt, or the ickiest colors you can find. Something old. Schlankets and Schlocks and other Schlatt merch will help to power the ritual. So will SpongeBob merch. Or even better, feet and toe merch. To prepare, you must form a ring of shoes and candles in this pattern; the first foot’s shoe you use to walk, then the second, then a candle. Repeat this pattern with all possible shoes, the more the better. You must then take off your shoes and socks, leaving your feet and toes bare to the wind, whether hot or cold. Once the clock strikes 6:07, you must light each candle as you chant; Toes, toe fungus, toe cheese, and other toe-related things. Once finished with that, you must repeatedly chant ‘toes are salvation’. Do this until one of your candle flickers out. When the divine powers of the shoes and candles have subsided, you are free to go home, and you are now part of the toe cult.
