this will be my last message on this app as i don’t have any plans to come back to writing fics about enhypen.
i am honestly very devastated after seeing the news about heeseung to the point that i can barely function today. i’m still overthinking everything, asking myself how the hell this even happened. don’t get me wrong, i’m genuinely happy that hee wants to pursue solo projects and grow as an artist. he deserves every opportunity that comes his way but the thing that i still can’t process is why belift decided to handle it this way. it just feels so sudden and confusing, a part of me feels like there’s something more behind it that they simply don’t want to tell us and that thought alone makes my heart feel heavy. i guess that’s why i feel so much frustration and anger right now.
ive been an engene for nearly six years. i’ve been here since the very beginning, watching them grow, supporting them through every era. i truly love each one of them with all my heart, they became a huge part of my life, they gave me comfort during times when i felt completely alone. there were moments in my life when everything felt so heavy and yet somehow they managed to make things a little brighter, they made me feel like i wasn’t alone like there was still something worth holding on to. in many ways, they became my safe place, my home, and a reason for me to keep going. heeseung may not have been my bias but he has always been someone i deeply admired, his passion and dedication always stood out to me. so seeing things change like this makes me feel like i’m losing a spark that once kept me going. it’s such a strange and painful feeling like something that once meant everything to you suddenly feels doubtful. maybe this is why i feel the need to step back, not because the love is gone but because it still means too much to me. sometimes the only way to protect the memories you treasure is to take a step away and let yourself breathe.
