At this point, I am genuinely starting to feel like giving up completely and deleting my author account along with every book I have poured my time, effort, and emotions into. Every single time I gather the courage to come back, to rebuild everything from scratch and try again, something goes wrong all over again and my IDs end up getting suspended repeatedly as if I am stuck in an endless loop I cannot escape from. It is mentally exhausting and deeply discouraging because no matter how much I try to stay strong or motivated, everything keeps falling apart right in front of me. I am so tired of constantly restarting, of losing progress, of pretending that it does not affect me when it clearly does. At this point, it is not just frustration anymore, it feels like defeat slowly settling in, making me question whether I am even meant to continue writing at all or if this is some kind of sign telling me to stop, even though a part of me still does not want to let go *melting emoji*