Hello! My blood is ink and irony.
I write because I can't help it; I just have to. I'm sure most of you know the feeling. But sometimes it's hard. I like to describe it as constipation. That way people will be sure to know that writing is not an actual effort, but a superficial one, like the problems only white people and inhabitants of first-world countries deal with. Got constipation? Take some pills! Eat more fiber! Got writer's constipation? Er...

This comparison also makes writing sound like a disgusting, yet necessary action, like relieving oneself in the toilet. What else could it be?

I'm kidding! Kidding! Kidding. 100% kidding!

Just kidding.

My username was chosen for a reason. If I ever insult you, do not fret, for I surely mean it in jest, or by accident. I am not the suavest of human beings. Neither are you. Be proud of yourself! Nobody cares! In the long run, nobody matters, not even you! (but in the short term, they might -- so please try to be considerate occasionally :)

Kindness is necessary, no matter what anyone tells you, but that doesn't mean you have to hold true to your morals. Be a bully, cheater, and overall terrible individual! Be a brick in the wall, just not the one you can wobble a bit in order to remove it and make a hole in the wall so you can see the other side and maybe visit! Nope!

"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
That sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all..."
-- Emily Dickinson 

"...maybe THINKING you can
just ain't enough..."
-- Shel Silverstein

P.S. I am not as macabre as I may appear to be

In fact, I chase butterflies

and boil them to make jam

P.P.S. I would never do that. After all, I pretend to be a vegetarian! It wouldn't fit with the image.

P.P.P.S. Feel free to engage in debate with me! Pick a topic! Comment on profile if interested.