ishiwrites10

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ishiwrites10

Hey, my dear readers,
          
          Let me tell you something: I'm not a social butterfly. I'm not the kind of person who updates her profile picture every month. I was a few years ago, when I was 17 or 18, but then life happened, and I became someone who would scroll through Instagram, practically living on it, just to avoid certain things.
          
          Then I discovered Wattpad. I was a reader—yes, I'm still a reader, though—and somewhere along the way, I asked myself, Why do I only read other people's stories? Why don't I put my own stories onto the blank pages of a screen? And that's how, years ago, I started this journey.
          
          I don't know if you noticed it or not, but I don't post stories unnecessarily. There was always something behind them, something important to me. I tried posting other things too, but honestly, I felt cringed out by them. Another reason is that mass liking affects the reach of my Instagram, so I usually don't do it.
          
          But you know what? I think it's time for me to sign off for a few days because life has been feeling a little overwhelming lately. Maybe it's hormones. Maybe I'm overthinking. There are too many maybes, but it is what it is.
          
          I'll come back just to update you when I post the chapter on Scrollstack and Wattpad. But until then, let me say goodbye to this pink app for a little while.
          
          But don't you dare unfollow me. I'm not leaving Instagram. I just want to take some time to heal myself.
          
          Because not everyone has someone to heal them.
          
          Some people need to heal themselves.

ishiwrites10

I don't know why, but lately I feel so out of energy, so completely depleted that even the smallest things feel exhausting. I feel angry, I feel like crying, I feel overwhelmed by so many emotions at once, but somehow I can't even muster enough energy to write them down. My Scrollstack wasn't working, and when it suddenly started working again this morning, I thought maybe I would finally be able to write, but instead my mind feels completely blocked and my fingers suddenly feel like they don't want to move, not because they are tired from writing, but because they simply want to stay idle. My heart feels heavy with emotions that I can't seem to comprehend, let alone explain, and all I want right now is to isolate myself from everything and everyone.
          
          I want to go somewhere where I don't have to hear anything, where there are no arguments, no expectations, no explanations and no one constantly reminding me of the person I am supposed to be. I want to be free from the mirror that somehow manages to show me every flaw I already believe I have, every little thing that makes me feel useless and inadequate. I just want to exist somewhere without having to prove that I am doing fine when I know I am not.
          
          I don't know when I became this tired, but there is a strange kind of ennui settling inside me, an exhaustion that doesn't seem to come from my body alone but from somewhere much deeper. I, the girl who has always loved light and hated the darkness, suddenly find myself wanting to disappear into it, somewhere so quiet and distant that nothing can reach me, nothing can demand anything from me and I don't have to come back until I feel like myself again.

ishiwrites10

Hello, guys!
          
          I'm really sorry, but I still haven't been able to write anything. My health has only gotten worse. My mom and brother also have a fever, and to make things worse, I had a fall and injured my lower abdomen, left shoulder, and knee.
          
          I really need some time to recover, so I hope you'll cooperate and bear with me.
          
          Unfortunately, I won't be able to update any chapter on Scrollstack tomorrow. But the moment I start feeling a little better, I'll get back to writing and update as soon as possible.
          
          Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Dreamy_doveee

@ishiwrites10 take care dear
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