Good afternoon. My name is Russell and I am a Wilderness Explorer in Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today?

What? It isn't the afternoon? My name isn't Russell? I don't belong to any type of Wilderness Explorer tribe? And you DON'T need my assistance? Well that whole introduction was completely pointless! Isn't that GREAT? 

Hello. My name is not Russell and I am not part of the Wilderness Explorers. 
Good enough introduction? No? You people are so picky...

Fine.

Hello.
I am a person.
That exists.
If you are a person as well,
Copy and paste this to your wall,
Because you can breathe air.

See what I did there? Yes. I just trolled. I will admit that could be considered my first troll.

I LOVE YOU LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE.
What? That's not offensive! I swear I'm 1/4 fat. I got a scholarship for it.

Now... My name... Is not important you creepy stalkers that have nothing to do except read my About Me. I don't blame you for doing it, I'm one myself!

Embrace your inner stalker, become one with yourself!

Well I'm going to go fellow stalkers. 
Farewell.