jillfabulist

Be strong. Be resilient.

jillfabulist

Am I not allowed to speak up? Am I not allowed to talk? All of you, do none of you believe I can speak properly? Do you think I am not capable of conversing? That nothing good comes out of my mouth? Am I not allowed to fight for my right? Am I not allowed to be mad at something wrong? Am I not allowed to call a wrongful act? Am not I allowed to be me?
          
          You people who are supposedly my family, my close friends, you took my away my voice.
          
          Now, I couldn’t even speak.

jillfabulist

So many promising writers with true talent and yet here I am with nothing but nuts, I mean, guts.

jillfabulist

@MisordinaryGirl726 I really hope to get to that point, you know, when I finally am able to make a difference. :)
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MisordinaryGirl726

@jillfabulist Talent is one thing, but guts make the difference ^_^
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jillfabulist

Before, I didn't understand how a person can ever think of ending his own life. Now, I do. I can see how the cruel world can chase you to edge of the cliff and leave you no choice but to jump to your death. Rather than trying to hold on to the rock hoping you can still make your way up, it'd be easier to just let go and let yourself die. After all, you already had died the moment they drove you to that cliff.

jillfabulist

@jillfabulist Offering my thanks and apology at the same time. You actually read my good-for-nothing thoughts, which, most of the time, I wrote from outburst, without considering the consequences that go with them.
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MisordinaryGirl726

@jillfabulist The point where you almost died and didn't, is the point where things start to change. It is easy to jump from the cliff amd let go of everything that hurts you. It is easy to close the book and run away from a story that seems to be leading to hell, or worse nowhere. Because holding on just does not seem worth it. But if life is easy, then you're doing it wrong. If life has no pain, then it is not real. Feeling pain and hopelessness and negativity is a sign that you still living your life, that you still care.Closing the book, jumping from the cliff and running away from our story might seem like the answer, but it is the answer that Satan wants us to choose. Facing our story is difficult, but if we muster the courage to do so, to continue reading through the pages, we will eventually reach the chapter, where we would just be able to laugh at everything and everyone that tried to kill us, where we find answers to the questions that plagued us, where we finally people who really love us, and make us realize that there was no reason to change after all. The battles that we fight and didn't win, are sometimes more important than the battles we conquer, for these are the battles that leave their mark, that bring change, these are the battles that make a difference.
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jillfabulist

What do you do when everything around you seems to be working against you? Do people even know I’ve lost the ability to become happy because I know that anything that starts as happy will only end tragic for me? If I tell you I’m cursed, would you consider me a lunatic? If you do, well, you’re lucky because you absolutely have no idea what I’ve been going through all these years. My mom died from brain aneurysm, and the doctors said it’s difficult to pinpoint the real cause. I disagree. From the kind of life I’ve been trying to get by with nowadays, I’d say it’s easier to die of aneurysm than try to survive.

jillfabulist

NO. You're not my friends, but a bunch of old faces who knew me from my youth. From the little (and may I add outdated) information you have on me, and your amusing ignorance toward our differences, you've made your own prejudice about me. You wouldn't allow me a moment of weakness, and you could not listen. You thought you wanted to help, but hell no! You just want to prove that you're different and that you're better , and with a smug you'd say, you should do it like I do--almost and always perfectly.

jillfabulist

When I “shared” my problem—confided with you—it doesn’t mean that I want to be bombarded by solutions. It means my struggle is real and it’s eating up on me, and you’re someone that I trust who will go with me through the pain. Equations are easily dealt with solutions, but the pain, the struggle, the trauma, the wound—they just don’t go away. Even if I follow your solutions and ace the test, they just won’t go away.