QUOTES FROM MY FAMILY THAT SOUND INCORRECT, BUT ACTUALLY HAPPENED:
Mum: Just because one person does an illegal thing, doesn't mean we all need to do the illegal thing.
Everyone else: YES WE DO
Mum: I mean, I say this as I do the illegal thing too...
(while playing card games)
My Aunty: I don't think we should play with that rule, it makes the game too harsh. Games are supposed to be fun.
Dad: No, games are supposed to bring glory to the victors and shame and misery to the losers
(to make this even funnier, my aunt was actually doing much better at the game than my dad, who was losing badly)