this message may be offensive
woah i'm back again js bc i'm feeling like shit how original for me!
vent ; Tw for sh mention n stuff
Bro like i get if they're upset at me or smth but i feel like shit now bc i said that, Pls stop ignoring me bro like i fr miss you and i feel like kaz doesnt even like me anymore, you and mel and kaz are fr keeping me alive and now i wish i didn't stop myself. I fr js wanna cut myself until i cant fucking stop bleeding, this isn't okay for me to feel and idk why i feel this way, ur js a friend that i've known for a year or two or even three, normal people don't do this. I just wanna kms more than i have before because of you ignoring me, and i js feel like i'm making my friends annoyed with my constant vents. And i feel so weird and gross because i cant even comfort my own friends. and with ray getting her friends to tell me what they have been is making it worse and only u understand it, and i fucking like mel but he has a bf and it feels so weird. I'm always making myself this happy but sexual person and its ruining my mental health. i feel so annoying bc i talk so much, like i need to acc stfu. i'm slowly pushing my friends away as my depression gets worse because i cant do anything about it, i feel like i'm rotting and i just cant mentally or physically force myself up anymore. i dont even think i'll make it past 20 anymore. my body makes me so confused and idefk what or who i am anymore, "it'll get better" it's only getting worse and i hate it. i'm so close to just fucking hanging myself or even just stabbing myself. like maybe everyone will be happier then bc they obvi arent now. they all seemed so happy until i came along, i'm not even who i am online irl, nobody knows who Cherri or Ren are it's only my dead name, the only person i have irl is my cousin and i barely see them. im so over this. i'm just about to actually kill myself. and the only time these guys fucking even show an ounce of love or even just care s when i do this