lukwoj

I'm getting so .. exhausted

I was so scared about the guy.. I tried so hard not to put myself in a situation like that.. But I guess I ended up doing what I tried so hard not to do. Shit.

Why do I alwayas let the bad signs pass easily, and let their "words" make up for it. I am a fool.

shit everything feels like shit in the end because that's when you actually realize all the shit you didn't notice before.

Don't walk away, don't say goodbye, don't turn around, dony let it die

I really don't like the person I'm becoming. I set goals for myself, I've organized the priorities of my life.. the moral of what I want to be is to be a better me and to improve myself. I strive to be a strong independent woman, but I'm still in my preserved shy girl stage. A stage I haven't grown out of for a long time. It's a habit of mine to let people define me, to care about others more than myself. It really isn't healthy, I feel that it is ruining my life. It's possible for me to be in this situation and still meet my goals, but being the timid naive girl I am- it's hard for me to handle.

You know what's the hardest part when you lose someone? It's not saying goodbye to them, it's rather trying to live without them. 

The envy in me is so evil. It's destroying not only me but the loved ones around me that I care for. It hurts man.

I loved you so I let you go, a month later I got you back. I believed you were always mine. Summer came and I let you go again, but this time I wonder if you'll actually return.

Thinking back.. literally right after we broke up, you already found someone you grew fond of. Multiple I should say. A LOT. PROFUSELY. MUCHO MUCHO. 
          In the halls, I've only ever seen you with a girl. No males. BOI.
          I didn't even move on that fast, I didn't interact with them either. I didn't know how I felt because I set priorities for myself that involved school, family, faith. I believed in the stupid saying.. "If you love someone let them go. For if they return they were always yours. And if they don't they never were." UGGG