one of my favorite ocs is one y'all haven't even met yet. mavis nott is so confused with who she is, having always been caight up with what she is. she wants to live a normal life, but knows that she never can be. there's something different about her, something that goes past the fangs and bloodlust. she's missing pieces. or maybe she just has too many.
she threw away her last name like it was nothing, and yet it feels like she has thrown away everything. like those few letters she associated with herself was an entire part of her, a section of her history that she has stashed away in the archives of her brain.
or perhaps she feels that way because she chose this name. auclair had been like a burden on her chest, haunting her soul despite how hard she fought it, pushed ot away. like mishel had stuck a piece of himself inside of her, a piece that she couldn't claw out no matter how hard she fought. he'd given her two curses: teeth too sharp and a want for blood. or maybe the second curse was merely a want for everything she could not have. a normal life. a father. a mother.
she wasn't even yet sure who her parents were. who had given her life? she had no memory of them. they had been washed away with whatever name she had been given at birth.
she needs to hide who she is, what she is. she needs to hide the parts of her she knows exist. do not let them close, and they will not figure it out.
but it is never enough. and it never will be. she craves love, yet has no clue what the word means. she yearns to be normal, yet is not sure how different she is. she aches to have a life without chaos, yet doesn't know if she could survive if not for it.
she doesn't know what she wants. she doesn't know who she is. her soul has been torn to shreds by the unforgiving claws of life, and she has been left to sew it back together.