am i real?

starting new feels so... freeing. deleting this account but just wanted to say thank you to all i’ve met and spoken to on here. part of me was saved by this app and the people i’ve met on here. all my love. 
          
          -eli

okay i’m back from my existential crisis i think 

i’m here. i know that. but how do i know i’m real? how is any of my existence proven. how can i know that anyone around me is sentient and not a figment of my own imagination? there’s no proof. not a single shred. i have no way of knowing whether i’m real or this is real or even if you’re real. why are you reading this? are you even reading this? i don’t know what good questioning any of this does me, and maybe i should just realise that i can’t know if it’s not real or if it is, and so i should just accept it and make the most of life right? but i cant stop thinking. the more time passes the more questions come to mind the more thoughts i have the more pieces fit together. i sound crazy i know, and maybe i am. maybe i’m just going crazy and you’re here to witness it. but whatever this is, whatever life is, is eating me up inside and causing me to lose my mind. if i even had one in the first place. if none of its real then why cant i consciously change it? why cant i choose my life. i’m stuck and i don’t even know what the point of questioning any of this is. i don’t know why i’m even writing this but to release my thoughts and hope they stop coming. i don’t feel sad or down i feel happy and content but the thoughts won’t stop 

i wonder if any of it’s real. how do we know it is? it’s this thought that makes me feel... reckless. like i am free. dancing in the rain seems fun rn

i feel so alive 

in another life, you and i are together 

falling in love with life again. 

oh my god I love Bryce Loski!!!!

Thank you so much for voting on my story, Bathe in Color, and for your kind comments! :D

Are the quotes in your bio from call me by your name??