𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲𝐧 💌

@PatricksPsychoxo, hello - I just have a really bad feeling for tomorrow so I wanted to make myself sure that I will contact with you before it happens. I know that I'm a weird - that I just came up and messaged you out of nowhere, that expressing my appreciation and admiration for your story turned into me cracking up and sharing some very personal things and I don't know if that's right - I felt comfortable with you but I don't feel alright being a burden and putting more weight on you. I missed you all these days and I'm so sorry and also hurt that you didn't find me as you left me after being on a rest.. you found what remained but to be honest from the start of our interaction you were only seeing some remains of me because I was already in a really bad situation. I know that I can barely read and interact right now, but I still missing you everyday and I still aching for not being able to read your stories and do anything to write mine (I just accepted I will never make it). I'm completely blank, completely drained and I don't feel alive in the minimum. I don't want to keep going like this - everyday is worse than the precious one and I feel so hopeless. I lost anything. there aren't sparkles in my eyes anymore, there isn't any fire, any light, any energy remained - I lost the ability to feel and think like I did, I feel like a robot. I'm a lost case and I'm sorry for making you connect with me and make you care, I only dissapoint people and I know that I dissapointed, I dissapoint and I'm gonna dissapoint you too. thanks for everything, even if it wasn't for less than a month, it meant anything to me and I'm really grateful for crossing paths, it's hard to thank you properly... also, again, I'm really sorry for any damage I caused, please stay strong and never lose your precious self. I love you