16/10/24
I still can't believe I am only a teenager when one of the boys have left this world.
What a heartbreak, I find it very hard to process the news of Liam's passing. I woke up this morning and had a text from a friend simply saying Liam, and I googled him immediately. I have been follwing with Liam's life recently because it was evident that he was struggling over the past couple of months, with past relationships, personal health, news controversies and even career-wise. But I was not expecting to be reading the words dead so many times.
It made me laugh sardonically out of frustration at how suddenly his Wikipedia page was all changed up. Is turned to was, a death date showed up, they even went ahead and put him in past members of 1D, it was too quick for me to process everything and just like that the tears fell.
I understand that people have started to dislike him recently, but the lack of decency on the internet of simply allowing a mourning period before bringing up all his controversies and even questioning how he died was sickening.
I don't think I have fully processed things yet, it keeps hitting me over and over again, Liam was the reason I became a directioner, Liam was my first. Everything reminds me of him being gone and it keeps breaking my heart, I have been crying I know many others have been too. He was finally starting to be in a better place, he was happy again and it's crazy how life changes.
All I wish for now is for people to respect his passing, instead of bringing up discussions of his past or mourning one direction reunion should be the least of anyone's concerns
I wished to express my feeling and let go of the lump in my throat but I do not think I can explain the aching in my chest to myself let alone anyone else at least not yet.
He's gone too soon but I will always remember and love him.
RIP Liam James Payne
forever in my heart <3
