milk19082006
Hello. I’m really sorry for posting this here, but I don’t have anywhere else to turn. I don’t have any friends or family.
TW!!!
Something really terrible happened to my sister. I’m not going to describe it, but it’s one of the worst things that could happen to someone. She told me recently, and I’m struggling so much with the information. It hasn’t even been a day yet, and I feel completely overwhelmed and helpless.
My siblings and I grew up in an abusive household, and my relationship with my father has always been complicated. He’s based off Lewis/Lucifer. Because of everything I went through growing up, I’ve struggled with self-harm for a long time. I’ve hurt myself a lot in the past (still do) and I have had many thoughts about ending my life ever since I was nine.
My sister has been incredibly brave and has already involved the police. I’m trying not to make this about me, so I’ve been holding in my tears and trying to act normal around my siblings. But I’ve been having panic attacks all day, and nearly everything is triggering me. I've been in my room crying about it all day.
I keep blaming myself and replaying the image of how scared my sister must have been. It’s breaking my heart. I feel so low and upset, and I don’t have anyone to comfort me. I’m trying really hard not to reach out to my dad because that has always made things worse in the past.
Right now I’m doing everything I can to fight the suicidal voices in my head, but I don't think I can.
I’ll unfortunately be taking a break from Wattpad again, but this time from reading and writing. I’m sorry, and I really hope I didn’t make anyone uncomfortable, but I’ll definitely be back to read everyone’s chapters.
I'll be logging out soon sorry guys!!!
SpencerrRivers
@milk19082006 wishing you all the best!!!! you are in my thoughts. you got this!!! i know you will be able to just allow yourself to feel every emotion you are feeling. xxxx
absurdistamal
Please please please no matter how hard life gets, no matter how vulnerable and weak you feel don’t ever think of hurting yourself, please! I know how hard things could get and no matter how many times I tell you I understand, I know I would not be able to feel what you feel. I have a sister too and she means the world to me so I totally get you. You must be feeling like her protector and you say you don’t have friends but she is there so don’t forget that. I felt that your writing reflected some part of you, it was so real and raw. Please don’t give up on yourself, on life, don’t ever! No matter how long the difficult days seem, there will always be sunlight at the end and feel free to reach out to me anytime. (I’ve struggled a lot from hardships and metal health in the past and learned through experience to overcome them each time so I’d be happy to help you out anytime.) you’re a good person and we care about you, please stay safe and don’t take any decision on impulse or out of anger or sadness… Take care of yourself and take some time off, too, it will do you good, it always does and do some things/ activities to take your mind off of what’s bothering you… My heart broke reading this, you don’t deserve to go through this and I pray God everything will get better. I’ll be here for you whenever you need someone to listen to you
tinna115
@milk19082006 oh my god you and your sister are going through a lot since a long time, please take care of yourself:( hope things goes better..
