It's almost a week to new year and to be frank, I am so not ready but also at the same time I felt excited. It's the most strange things ever.
The new decade, that I'm afraid I'll screwed and messed up again (which I fix it everytime but ended up broken) or happy that I'm finally eighteen. The most glorious time or age for me, maybe because I could do a lot of things, like a lot. Not in a reckless way but the way where I'm trying to figure what I'm best at. Writing, designing or art? Girl, couldn't stick with one thing and that's a problem.
I don't know if I should go back to where I stopped? Learning or should I just be what I want and be the random me again. People around me said I will be fine and will get through this. It's funny how I believe it, until today and I'll probably still do in five to ten years later.
Life is short and I want to experience everything. Seems greedy but that's what I am. Maybe I should let go from one thing to other and move one. Like how I let my social life went to drain and I act like everything's fine. It's not at first but as time goes by, I'm perfectly fine.
Not a guy, friend or any useless things in my life. I keep myself to me. Sure, we called it boring but you know what's the best thing being alone? You could figure out who you really are. Then, fix it and stop pretending to be someone you aren't. Wearing pretty clothes and makeup and carrying the expensive phone and bag, that's not gonna bring you anything but a heartbreak at the end of the day. Be comfortable on what you do and wearing and do not burden anyone else (this includes your parents)
Also, don't date anyone just to have the dating life experience. It'll make you cry a bucket in later day. Save yourself for someone who's worthy. Maybe in 10 years later.
A late teenage girl rambling at the middle of the night. Not much but it's a lesson. Life lesson. Have a good day, night and year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Love, Hanny.