moonlitkitten
Sooooo forgetting who is who in your story (as it is based on my life) is really bad. I spent a good 5 minutes going "who the sh*t is Emilio!" (whom you have never met in the old or new version) whoops! ( I have a document that has the names like this. Say Emilio was a guy named Jafar it would appear Emilio - J so I got confused! )