nekojanai06

There are people whose kindness lingers longer than words.

How do I human ?

Nobody is coming to save me and I have  to do the work on my own.

Imposter Syndrome -
          A condition where someone doubts their skills/accomplishments/talents and that they will be found out as frauds even though there is evidence of their skills/accomplishments/talents and their fears are unfounded.

A question I’ve been asked many times:
          What do you want to be when you grow up?
          
          My answer was always the same: a kind person.
          It never seemed like a satisfying answer to others.
          
          So let me redefine it.
          
          I want to be:
          
          -kind
          -happy
          -guided by feeling, not cruelty
          -gentle with the people I trust
          -someone who never hurts the people closest to them

HIATUS 

Society has slowly turned into a place of transactions.
          Society has started valuing people for what they give, what they do, how convenient they are,
          and somewhere along the way, society forgot how to sit with who a person is.

The cursor blinked on my monitor, a steady pulse that felt like its mocking heartbeat. 
          
          I walked to the window. Outside, the  world was moving: cars cutting through lanes, people rushing toward destination they seemed so certain of. I feel a little empty. Not because they were happy, but because they looked like they had a map.
          
          I looked at my reflection in the glass. He was the version of me that everyone saw, Behind his eyes, in the reflection of the reflection, was the other face. The one that just wants to quit everything.
          
          "Where are we going ?" I whispered to the glass,
          
          The reflection didn't answer, it just stared back. I was standing in the middle of a life I had built, yet I felt like a trespasser in my own future. Every path forward looked like a fog. I wasn't sure if my feet would find the ground when I took the next step

"ARE YOU A HARD WORKER?"
          
          YES, I MAKE EVERYTHING
          HARDER THAN IT HAS TO BE 
          X'D

Some chapters are meant to be written in pencil, easily erased by time. Others are carved in the quiet moments of showing up when the world gets loud.