𖤐 alex ♠️

i hate myself lol

i shouldnt be watching vent videos because i feel more prone to relapsing but j cant stop… i need to go to sleep. im supposed to wake up in 40 minutes for school

i miss my childhood so much. the specific details of it, too. its usually in the noon in the memories, and i love noon. my age is younger than 10 years old. one that came recently was me in my front room sitting on the couch with the sunlight coming through the brown blinds, with me playing a game on my ipad and watching my favorite youtubers on the tv. i miss it so much. i was so happy. the days seemed brighter then. now, the days feel dark. i miss everything about my childhood. fuck

hehe that silly little urge to cvt again is baaack!! i relapsed a few days ago after my mom got mad at me >_< she almost caught me with my scissors when she was taking my phone away. i actually cvt deep too! well not super deep but enough to make it bleed a lil!! i was kind of proud of myself. the scab is starting to fade away and thats giving me the urge to relapse. another thing.. school is starting again after this monday on tuesday!! spring break is over.. and i think thats why the urge is cominf back. yippe im so fucking happy about this how fun how fun fun FUCKING fun haha

why is my mind traveling to the back of my head to where i want to take pills. bad pills. but not like dr!g$. just. something. take. something.

i changed my name like… a while ago… ish.. not rlly, BUT i would like to say that my new name is juniper but i would like to be referred to as june or juni if we’re close :3 juniper is fine too!! im agender now ^^

clownpierce clownpierce clooowwwwwwnpierce

WHYY IS MY FANFIC AT 1K READS NO

i love when people just use my name randomly in sentences. unfortunately that doesnt happen in real
          life since im closeted… but still

help help helllp im getting too excited for the pierrot oneshot book im making and i havent even finished the first oneshot im just so excited to create more in the future like some for holidays and many others AHHH HELP ME STOP ME FROM GETTING EXCITED