obeseandobsessed

I END UP BECOMING THE QUEEN OF THE LAND OF THE DEAD AND I HAVE AN ARMY OF GHOSTS TORMENT YOU FOREVER 

MY GHOST COMES BACK AND HAUNTS THE SHIT OUT OF YOU WHILE THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO

I USE A PIECE OF YOUR HAIR TO TAKE A DNA TEST AND TURNS OUT SHES NOT YOUR TWIN JUST YOUR DOPPELGÄNGER. SHE REALIZES AND CONTINUES TO RUN AWAY WITH ME AND ALL YOUR STUFF

AS IM BEING KIDNAPPED I START SEDUCING HER AND SHE FALLS IN LOVE WITH ME INSTANTLY AND WE RUN AWAY TOGETHER WITH EVERYTHING 

YOU ARE UNAWARE THAT I HAVE THE SAME ABILITIES AS ELASTIGIRL AND MAKE MYSELF AS FLAT AS A PANCAKE SO WHILE YOU WERE TURNED AROUND I KNOCK YOU OUT WITH THAT DONUT SHAPED LIVESAVER THING. I TAKE THE BOAT, GO TO MAINE, TAKE EVERYTHING AND HIDEOUT IN AN ABANDONED LIGHTHOUSE

I JUMP OUT OF THE HELICOPTER BUT NOT BEFORE I PUT EVERYTHING IN A WATERPROOF BAG. I HIT THE WATER BUT I ACCIDENTALLY FALL INTO A BOAT INSTEAD WITH THE KEYS IN THE IGNITION COINCIDENTALLY. I ESCAPE WHILE YOU WERENT LOOKING AND DO ONE OF THOSE RELIEVED SIGHS

WHILE YOU WERE AWAY BUYING THE ISLAND BACK I PACKED ALL OF MY BELONGINGS INCLUDING YOURS INTO MY HELICOPTER I USED TO GET TO THE ISLAND BUT BEFORE I LEFT I PLACED BOMBS ALL OVER THE ISLAND. I THEN FLEW AWAY IN MY HELICOPTER WITH EVERYTHING 

YEARS LATER IM STILL TRYING TO FIND YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STOLE FROM ME WHEN I SEE A TINY DESERTED ISLAND ON THE MARKET. I THINK WHY NOT? IVE GOT NOTHING ELSE! SO I BUY IT MEANING EVERYTHING ON THAT ISLAND BELONGS TO ME. TURNS OUT YOU WERE ON THAT ISLAND WITH ALL MY STUFF AND NOW I OWN YOU TOO. 

TAKING BOTH ACCOUNTS BACK NO BACKSIES

CLAIMING YOUR ENTIRE ACCOUNT