Mich

Guys..
          
          Today marks the last day of school of the DECADE thus forth, our childhoods are now gone.

It's been a while since I've cried, and I didn't expect it to be now. How come when I'm finally able to feel again, the first emotion that comes through is sadness? Why can't the universe let me be happy?
          
          It's like, you are in a permanent(or at least semi-permanent) state of almost happiness, but not quite. Almost sadness, but not quite. Not quite fear, but not quite calm either. It's wierd.
          
          Like whenever you feel an emotion, it immediately gets neutralized by the opposite emotion, leaving you with nothing. 
          
          I was numb. And I've been numb before, I know what it is, but I can never get out of it. The only time I can get out of it is when something really triggers an emotion.
          
          But why is sadness the only emotion that comes through? Why do I have to have an immediate breakdown, the moment I feel something, and then, like before go back into a state of numbness?
          
          Why can't I be happy again? It's such a good feeling, but I rarely get it. Why? And I know that there are some other people who may feel like this. Why do they have to suffer also? 
          
          It's terrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. 
          
          Now I'm going to go finish crying (hopefully) and try to make myself happy before my (what seems like a) timer runs out and I no longer feel anything.
          
          Have a good whatever. Stay safe loves. I mean it..love yous♡♡♡

I think today was the longest amount of time I spent genuinely happy...:] 
          
          Yeah things sucked but I'm with my friend so everything's good :]]

HEY!
          
          I really hope you guys are having a great day!! Or night...or whatever time of day it is for you!!
          
          :]

I NEED A FLUFF AND I NEED IT NOWWWW :`(

BUBBLE BATHS ARE FREAKEN GREAT AND ANYONE WHO DISSAGREES IS A LIARR
          :P 

I have a question. Anyone can answer if they want..
          But it's kind of a long backstory before the question, so...im really sorry it's not straitforward...
          
          So recently, like the past week or so, I have lost my motivation to do anything. Like, there's normally a big fire inside of you that makes you want to be active. Makes you want to do things. See people. Be a part of society. But recently, i haven't had that fire. It's been reduced down to the smoke you get after you put the fire out.
          
          I'm drained. I can't draw, because I feel like everything I draw sucks now. I can't post videos on my tiktok because I don't feel like making my bed. Or cleaning my room. I can't see my friends because they are all away. I can't finish a new chapter on my story. I can't do ANYTHING. 
          
          Everything I do feels like routine. Wake up, ignore your want for breakfast. Watch youtube. None of your favorite creators are active, so you'll have to watch an old video of theirs. Get bored. Play Minecraft because it's there. Make dinner because you have to feed your brothers. Get frustrated when you try to do ANYTHING you like to do. Have trouble sleeping and be alone with your thoughts. Cry yourself to sleep. Repeat.
          
          It is so frustrating. I want something new to do. "Your a kid." my mom says. "Your supposed to have fun." 
          
          Well I'm sorry I'm not the perfect daughter you thought you were going to have, mommy. 
          
          I just can't bring myself to do anything and it sucks. I feel like I'm going insane but there's nothing I can do about it.

HIIIIIIIIIILO!!! 

HELLO EVERYBODY!!!!!!!1!1!111 
          
          I hope everyone is doing ok! I just wanted to say you are all important and special and no matter what you are going through it will get better!!!
          
          I love y'all so much

Wow you seem so nice! We have so much in common :)