tw! (also very vent-ish)
yesterday i opened up to my therapist for the first time, and now she wants to send me to a center that treats women and girls who are victims of sa. she thinks i should file a complaint, because i have evidence and all that. and i really want to, but i'm so scared. because i am already putting my mom through so much trouble, and my friends are already distancing themselves and i don't want to lose them because they think i'm dramatic or smth. and i especially want to forget this ever happened. i wish it atleast was an one time thing but it went on for months. and even if i really file a complaint, i'd be to scared someone would put the blame on me, to actually speak up. but then again, i know his name, his face, his birthday, even where he just moved. and i could stop him from doing it to another girl. but i am to scared someone will blame me and also i'm not fifteen anymore, so even though he is way older than me, judges won't see it as bad, because purely legal i'm not a "kid" anymore, even though i was when it happened. i think i waited to long, and now there is no way out. i wish i never ever met him at all.
also i didn't take my meds again, the whole last weeks tbh, and today i took them again and i feel sick and like i have to throw up, and my mom barely let's me take a day of school even though i already wrote most of my exams... tomorrow i have a 10h long school day, being out of house from 7am to 7pm. as if i could handle it wtf
