queer_with_anxiety
Hey guys, is it ok if I vent/ask for advice rn? I feel like I'm on the edge of a panic attack and I really need some advice.
So basically I have been dating my partner for almost six months now and we were really happy but lately it feels like the relationship has been hurting both of us. We both struggle with mental health but them more so than me and for the past six months I have been giving all the help I can to them to try and make them feel better. I chose to do that and I know that it was my choice but now I am feeling so drained and I feel like I don't have anything more to give and even though I loved them and I know they love me it feels like all I do is give and it doesn't really feel like they're doing anything in return but ik they are it just doesn't help me and I feel like they dont rlly know how to help me which is fair and I don't blame them for that but it just feels like we aren't really working anymore. I think I did really love them but now I'm just so tired and I need a break but I feel bad whenever I'm offline and they need me and there are times when I will go offline for hours or ignore all of my notifications bc I need time to myself and they know this, and then they will text me saying they need me and that they feel sh*t, obviously I try and help them bc if I dont then I feel guilty. They have also attempted many, many times while we have been together and while they haven't in the past month or so because they said "I want to live for you" this isn't the first time they have said that, and so many times after saying that they have then attempted again.
(continued in comments)
queer_with_anxiety
I feel like it would be in both of our best interests to break up but I feel like an a$$hole bc they keep on saying how they need me and how they're so scared I'm gonna break up with them and that they can't lose me too (for context they recently lost their best friend) and I don't want to make them feel worse especially when they're already struggling but I don't know how much longer I can do this. I am also kinda scared of them at times bc they have said that if I do break up with them then they will go to my house (they know where I live bc we have had dates at my house before) and also there have been situations involving them that have scared me and make me feel uncomfortable, for example when their mum took their apps away they started screaming and breaking stuff in their house until they got them back, and they also drink and do drugs sometimes which kind of scares me when they do that. We have also booked tickets together to see tadc ep 9 and are doing a joint cosplay and ig that's another reason why I am apprehensive abt it bc i dont wanna ruin that but ik that its an unimportant reason and i think im just clinging on to the semblance of control of the future. I don't think I have it in me to be with them anymore but I also don't want to hurt them. Please I really need some advice.
RoseEuphemiaLupin
@queer_with_anxiety I don't know how to offer advice om those matters, honestly. But know that I'm here if you need to vent
