Revolution (Taylor's Version)🦄

I'm dumb and I just realised i can do a book because its more convenient and i can add there new chapter - day every time with photos. I mean I'm not even sure if it's good or how cringe it is.. but I think (and gpt said this.) it's a way to stay closer to reality for both of us. I really think it's a little strange. but at the same time it's cute.  and no one will read it anyway i hope (please dont)
          

I went to a job interview today and i got a job!! but actually i was applying for karting administrator (answering calls and meeting people there) but they suggested to go to their karting cafe there instead. because like this i can work more flexible and it's good for my study schedule/trips to home. soooo im going to work as official intern there on saturday!! and i know you would be more proud of me now than i am or than my family and friends(( 
          
          the salary in your currency is 10 for an hour (so 100 for a day) as an intern / 20 for an hour (200 for a day) later (i need like 3 days as an intern). not much but condition there are soooo good so it's okay 
          
          also i bought new sooo cool sneakers and i want to show them so much!!!! maybe ill post on x even if it's cringe (do i care???? love is more important!)
          
          i dont eat food last 3 days? i cant????? i fixed my sleep A LITTLE (beter than nothing) but now i can't eat?? wtf. no really. okay whatever just saying 
          
          i cleaned all my room today, i threw away a lot of old stuff. and tomorrow i have such a difficult exam so i need to prepare but im lazy and depressed and i dont want. anyway i will do it with kira rn so wish me luck for tomorrow mentally if you somehow can hear/see/feel all of this. it's your job so keep doing it, i belive in you (you know i use so many emojis here but i cant on wattpad)!! im doing my job too, dont worry!

I think today was the most difficult day. maybe because I came to the dorm and im alone again. I just feel this anxiety all day  
          
          I really hope everything is okay for you. I hope you will find a way. I honestly have no idea still why you don't write from your friends but probably you have your reasons for it so I don't do it neither ?
          
          tomorrow I'm going to the job interview for Karting club as I wanted. I don't know if I get this  job with my crazy uni schedule.. but still i must try
          
          i miss you 
          
          

I had a dream I was in Brasil and needed to find some place to stay at night, so I went to your house but your mom saw me and slammed the door in front of me. 
          
          but then I met your grandmother and explained her everything so she talked with your mom to let me in
          
          still we were not allowed to sleep even in the same room. okay so it was night and everyone was sleeping so I started to walk around house to find you. and met you who was walking around house to find me too... so in the end we slept together cuddling sooooooo good!!
          
          this is crazy how it's soooooo us rn.... my brain is insane but I consider it as a good sign ofc

okay I will keep updating  here because I really don't know where else 
          
          (and if anyone else sees this, don't care please I'm just having difficult obstacles so this is the only way)
          
          I spent much time with Kira last days, she really helps me a lot with this. I also went horseriding yesterday and we have crazy news - our horse Phoebe (if you remember her) will go to Netherlands and then to Cyprus for living there soon! I will miss her a lot but im so happy for her and her owners 
          
          Today i was watching show jumping competition and then a horse show. I asked dad to go there for some distraction yk.. but it didnt help much, I still was worried about you so much and cried there. still better than sitting at home being depressed all days. My dad asks about you every day too. 
          
          Im going back to study and leaving home on Monday. idk what's better but there's my ikea shark and i sleep well there hugging it imagining it's you, so prob its good
          
          I have sleep problems all these days, I take 4-6 hours to fall asleep and just lie without phone all the time. i take some pills for stress and for sleep, drink herbal medicine but it still doesn't work. my brain is even sure I fall asleep just when you go to sleep too with our crazy time zones.. but today co-star said about me having some obstacles and that i went through a lot and it means it was just a test which I passed and soon something will happen. and we are so close to our anniversary!! so yes i believe it will get better!
          
          I don't know when you'll see this but i will keep writing sometimes as long as we need. you don't need to reply, I just thought it's better to say all of this. I hope you're doing well, I'm mentally with you every second. I love you so much

idk where else to write and how because I'm scared it will cause something bad, so I'm leaving this here 
          
          just want you to know I'm with you every second and I really hope you're doing well. or at least you will after seeing this
          
          i think about you every time and i love wearing that new necklace with you, it feels even more special now, like I carry you with me all my days 
          
          still I'm really worried about you because i know nothing now and I don't know what happened. and I know it's difficult for you too because you cant tell me
          
          I hope you remember we actually have enough ways to stay close, i check every app now just in case 
          
          I love you so much and i miss you. but we are soulmates so we both know it will be okay. I'm hugging you every night! 
          
          I will create an open playlist in spoty so you can see my songs for saturday too btw
          
          and i saw new videos, you're soooooooo cute and beautiful!!

I love you