Assalamualaikum, my dear readers.
I stayed silent for a long time not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t have the strength to speak. Every word felt heavy. Every explanation felt impossible.
I am sorry.
Sorry for unpublishing the book.
Sorry for disappearing without giving you an answer.
I know many of you felt hurt, confused, even abandoned.
But behind that silence, I was breaking.
I was facing online harassment.
I was abused.
I received hatred and even rape threats just for speaking my truth.
What hurt more was that when I needed understanding, I received judgment. My books were hated. My intentions were questioned. People never knew what I was going through, yet they were quick to decide who I was.
The past three months have drained me completely. Still, I tried. I tried to upload chapters. I tried to hold on. I know you were waiting and that guilt still sits in my heart every day. I was devastated too.
Life hasn’t been kind lately. It’s been a constant battle between hope and exhaustion.
But I held on to one thing my faith.
I trusted Allah when I had nothing left to trust.
And I kept telling myself that this pain has a purpose.
When my patience finally broke, I made the hardest decision of my life. I deleted the book not because I stopped loving it, but because I was losing myself.
I am not okay right now.
My health is suffering.
I’ve been lost for six months.
My exams are in May, and the dreams and expectations in my parents’ eyes feel heavier than my own tears.
I cannot carry everything at once.
If you want, I can republish the book. But I cannot promise consistency. At most, I may upload twice a month, only if my strength allows. Right now, I need to choose my studies and my healing.
Thank you to those who waited.
Thank you to those who checked on me.
Thank you to those who loved me even in my silence.
Please keep me in your duas.
I will return when Allah knows I am ready.
With a wounded heart but unshaken faith,
Your Author
