I'm sorry. I tried, I fought for so so long, I'm so sorry for relapsing but it felt so right. I just needed to feel something. Just to remind me to keep going. I can't hold on any longer and I'm scared to die, it might hurt for all I know. Yet I want it, to be free, for my hell to end. I'm trying to be strong I really am, I don't know how long I'll continue though