So next week will be my last week at college.
The last month or so has been a bit stressful on my end, and a lot is regarding what I do next afterwards. To be honest, I don't know. I spent most of my life planning everything ahead of time, with goals to achieve that would get me to complete that plan. It's a lot harder for me to do something else when I turn 20 in September, and I'm watching everyone I know walk by me as they strive for whatever they want to do in life.
I'm just stuck.
My biggest dream in life is to become an author and write books that people would enjoy. Wattpad helped me realise that my dream could be achieved, and what started as fanfiction scenarios in my head turned into novels in my head that I wanted to get down on a Word document. There have been moments when I go through an impostor syndrome crisis, doubt myself if people would actually like my work and feel like an immediate fraud for even trying. Despite the doubt, I just kept going, determined to prove myself with every chapter I put out.
The question is, where do I go from here?
I'm unemployed, about to finish college, and trapped in a void of uncertainty and fear for the future.
I want to keep doing this, writing stories for the rest of my life and feeling somewhat happy. How do I get around it regarding the reality of my situation? Everything about this week terrified me, and whatever happens tomorrow is something I will go into shock over.
I guess this is me saying that I will be taking a break for now to focus on myself and my priorities outside of the computer screen. You guys deserve to know now rather than wait years or whatever. All I ask is for hope that I can get my life together again.
- scre4ming_cupid
