Carter/Mars

hey I haven't talk on here in awhile a lot of shit has changed I'm finally in a happy healthy relationship been dating him for 3 months now I'm 16 now I have finally come to terms with the fact I like guys way more than girls and just call myself a gay guy idk thought I would just post on here since I haven't in so long 

Hey I wanna see something can y'all use they/it pronouns in a sentence so I can see how I like it?

I'm rly happy bc I'm back with someone who I missed a lot and we have been on the phone for like an hour and that has made me rly happy idk I'm just happy we're back together 

Trigger warning metions of self harm
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          I almost made it to a month clean of self harm again then I cut tonight rly badly I feel so bad about it bc I broke my promise to my parther that I wouldn't cut again and their reaction to it hurt me a lot I feel so bad for cutting but then again it kinda made me feel better idk it doesn't make sense so now my thigh is stinging rly bad and it hurts a lot idk anymore

Trigger warning metions of self harm
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          I made it two days clean of sh then last night I cut again like badly they usually don't bleed but it did this time and the marks are still there they're normally gone by morning so I did it way worse I didn't mean to my thigh where I cut is now stinging I don't think that's good thing idk anymore

Update about that one toxic guy I made post about I blocked him yesterday now I'm in a healthy relationship with this other guy he's rly nice and makes me rly happy idk anymore

Fuck this guy is rly bad I accidentally sounded mean in his words I was being a bitch and he said if I do it again when he see me irl he'll slap me rly hard I'm rly scared of him now I'm shaking but it's fine he's nice sometimes so it's fine I think idk anymore

Things were going good with that guy I talk about in my last post but I fuck up and now he's calling me a whiny little bitch and a stupid c*nt bc I think apologizing will help anything and bc I accidentally sounded like was assuming what he meant and now he ask if I'm done being stupid I said yea and he said about time idk anymore

Fuck I'm in a rly toxic relationships this guy is getting pissed at me bc I show won't show my t!ts on the phone and apparently I was acting like a bitch and being a c*not idk how and he was saying stuff how I'm lucky he's not hanging up the call and stuff like that and he wants to match pfp on discord but is getting mad bc I'm not finding any good ones and getting mad bc I can't find them fast enough then gets mad bc I gave up on it and he keeps asking me to show my t!ts over and over again even thou I said I'm not comfortable with doing that on the phone multiple times and he's rly controlling like I have to keep my camera on or he gets rly pissed and he wouldn't show his face then he did and then said now I can't keep bugging him about it like it was a problem that I wanted to know what he look like and he wouldn't say he cares about me for awhile but eventually he did but didn't act like he meant it and he said he's 16 but looks 20 idk he's rly toxic and controlling and I'm kinda scared of him but don't want to leave bc idk what he would do idk anymore

I was back with an ex I thought I fucked up with but she just broke up with me bc she needs a break I get that I understand that but it still hurts like a bitch I hate this idk anymore