∞∞∞∞

IF YOU'RE @jawnscupoftea / @johnscupoftea:

john, check you're texts. i have written you. come over and bring your gun, your date isn't going well anyway; otherwise you wouldn't check social media.

IF YOU'RE @mycroftscupoftea :

stop stalking my social media, brother. and stop spaming my dm's; i'm not going to write back.

IF YOU'RE @moriartyscupoftea :

bored? i won't dance, you know?

IF YOU'RE @irenescupoftea :

no.

IF YOU'RE @lestradescupoftea:

you're the police, goddamnit! stop looking at social media and try to use your brain once.

IF YOU'RE ANDERSON:

LEAVE.

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Why do you even have to read this?

If you were as clever as me, you would have figured out my personality by the background and chosen profile pic. But don't worry, about 99% of the human race is as stupid as you.

The name is Sherlock Holmes and the adress is 221b Bakerstreet.

I'm living together with my flatmate, colleague and, I guess, friend John Watson. He's an idiot who does not use his brain, but he's a doctor, so he isn't entirely useless.

Besides, he knows how to make coffee.

He's blogging about us, too, but don't read it, his entries are utterly horrible.
Now stop wasting my time and leave this page.