ㅤ

curious ??

[   silence follows the question as a gentle green envelopes her hands,  the dark green at her fingertips spreading like vines up her palms as the wound slowly begins to close. she purses her lips, staring firmly at the wound rather than at hal or the sand around them. at the very least,  the attempt at reassurance  –  from hal, no less – is of slight comfort.  the rings of blue in her eyes retreat back into the whites as her emotions regain control.  ]   ... of course.  had i not been born,  perhaps their descendants would be alive.  perhaps the lineage would not have died.  yet it did,  for a fault i had. it is tiring. there.  it is healed.

@samsaraed .        [  this  time,   after  listening  to  rabi'a's  whole  account,   she  truly  finds  herself  quiet.   in  fact,   there  is  a  long  stretch  of  silence  that  follows,   and  for  a  moment,   hal   relies  on  rabi'a's   gentle  touch  to  keep  herself  grounded  in  the  midst  of  her  thoughts.   is  the  feeling  she  is  currently  experiencing  akin  to  sympathy?   could  be,   but  even  so,   it's  much  more  of  a  stretch.   it's  more  so...    devastation,   if  anything.    logically,   she  should've  anticipated  very  / human /  reasons  behind  desiring  one's  own  death,   and  yet,   she  was  too  absorbed  in  her  own  pursuit  of  knowledge  to  realize  the  obvious  before  her.   how  / cruel /   celestia  was.   she  purses  her  lips,   her  fingers  tightening  ever-so-slightly  as  she  quietly  contemplates  rabi'a's  story.   ]    ...    i  guess,   it'd  be  difficult  to  life  with  yourself  after  something  like  that.   i'd  want  to  die,   too.    [  it's  the  closest  thing  to  reassurance  she  can  offer.   she  turns  to  face  rabi'a's   blue-hued  gaze.   ]    do   you   blame   yourself?   for..   what  happened?

(..) @skptics 
            [  she grits her teeth,  giving up on trying to make the other quiet,  and sighs.  ]  you should be more careful.  if i die,  i will come back in about five minutes.  if you die,  it is over for you. permanently. [  she keeps how that thought scares her to herself,  pursing her lips.  ]  ... stay still.   i will not bother with stitches.  [  then she pauses,  and rabi'a looks down a little.  it couldn't hurt,  she supposes.  her voice grows quiet.  ]   when i was first born,  the heavenly principles already had an issue with the fact that i am a human able to wield magic naturally without a vision or any other catalyst to channel it.  unmerciful as celestia is,  i always knew that when they came for me,  they would take my tribe,  my village as well.  i .. [  she trails off.  when was the last time she recalled this?  ]  we managed.  until i was about twenty seven.  i let my guard down,  and celestia finally enacted punishment by throwing ... everything.  unearthed creatures of old,  created a sandstorm,  slowly drowned us in the grains.  i did what i could with my magic.  i did not want everybody to die because of me.  i thought that if ... / i / died in their place,  it would pacify celestia.  but it didn't.  i woke up atop the sand i knew hid corpses and found i could not die as punishment for my transgression.  and so it has been ever since. 

/  more shenanigans

the key to death.  [  her tone makes it clear she's not buying it,  but she's smiling faintly nonetheless – the kind that wasn't seen unless looked for.  she props her chin on her palm,  leaning forward slightly across the table,  eyebrows knitting together.  her hair falls over one shoulder for once,  not kept impeccably.  ]   that seems awfully ... convoluted.  i admit at first i thought it was for research ... but now i do not think that is the reason you asked.  nonetheless, i will not pry and partake in an experiment if you do wish to test it in any case.  it is arguably less painful than being dismembered.  [  she picks another henna berry from the plate,  tossing it into her mouth as blank eyes watch the other. ] 

@samsaraed .        uhhh...    [  she  fumbles  slightly  for  an  answer,   her  hesitance  stretching  for  too  long  to  be  deemed  appropriate  for  someone  of  her  mind;   evidently,   she  did  /not/  think  this  through.  she  didn't  expect  rabi'a  to  entertain  the  idea;   she  thought  that  the  other  would  raise  an  eyebrow  and  dismiss  the  thought  immediately,   but  somehow,   hal  finds  herself  getting  away  with  it.   she's  not  even  sure  how  to  conduct  such  an  experiment  in  the  first  place.   though...   on  second  thought,   that  posed  more  as  an  enticing  challenge  than  a   hinderance.   after  all,   she  can  do  science  and  want  to  make  a  lady  laugh,  can't  she?   ]    yeah,   of   course.   what   do  you  take  me  for?   conventional  methods?   who  knows,   maybe  laughter  was  the  key  to  death  all  along.   [  even  if  it  is  somewhat  of  a  ruse  to  make  rabi'a  laugh,   hal  does  admit  that  if  laughter  truly  was  the  solution,   she'd  have  to  applaud  celestia  for  making  such  a  ridiculous  yet  ambiguous  solution.  ]

[  the smile fades into a contemplative frown,  brief joyful reprieve once more slipping from her face.  rabi'a tilts her head,  lips pursing.  ]  i have never heard of anybody dying of laughter in all the long time i have been alive.  i suppose you could / try /,  but it seems a very strange way to attempt considering all the other arguably more viable methods there are to kill me.  is it really that you wish to test if laughter can kill me?

... human cruelty passes over thousands of years without filter,  it would seem.  you do not seem bothered by it,  but i apologise you had to bear that nonetheless.  [  she hums,  nose scrunching at the taste.  ]   it certainly tastes like it.  for a moment it did hurt after i swallowed it  –  like poison,  perhaps  –  but i believe my healing mechanisms work faster than the food.  i do not think you could kill me unless you laced it with actual poison.

@samsaraed .        while  i'd  never  dedicate  my  life  to  something  as  unrewarding  as  an  entertainer,   scholars  in  the  akademiya  commonly  referred  to  me  as  a  "jester"  and  a  "clown".   though,   it  took  me  a  few  months  to  realize  they  were  calling  me  crazy.    [  she  says  this  monotonously,   as  if  the  memory  did  not  rouse  either  amusement  or  repressed  hurt;   it  was  just  a  moment  in  her  life.   she's  far  more  invested  in  how  rabi'a  feels  after  eating  a  foul  and  expired  nut.   she  shrugs  at  rabi'a's  question.   ]   ehh,   no  clue—-    i  sort  of  stole  this  place?   more  like  it  was  abandoned,   so...   when  i  moved  in,   it  was  already  there.   though,  i'd  say  give  or  take   twenty  years?

haha. you should take up a job as an entertainer.  i have truly never met in thousands of years anybody so eager to repeatedly kill someone. interesting. you – [  she's promptly cut off by having the nut shoved into her mouth.  she glares briefly at hal for attempting to apparently test choking and not food poisoning,  before rabi'a gains her bearings and chews. ] ..how log as this been sitting around?

.         she  also  has  low  empathy  and  consideration  regarding  other  people.  she  laughs,  often  inappropriately,  in  the  face  of  a  tense  or  sorrowful  circumstance.  she  does  not  mind  taking  advantage  of  people,  as  she  believes  that  they  would  do  so  as  well.  that  being  said..  she  does  have  feelings  and  she  does  feel  sympathy,  but  she  is  either  unable  to  acknowledge  them  or  unsure  as  to  what  to  do  with  them.

.         has  a  very  nihilistic  worldview.  she  has  little  moral  convictions,  so  despite  her  shortage  of  mora,  she  occasionally  steals  food  in  mischievous  ways.  even  though  she  once  believed  she  had  a  purpose,  being  sealed  away  for  hundreds  of  years  made  her  realize  how  minuscule  she  was  in  the  eyes  of  gods  and  the  hexenzirkel's  narrative.  thus,  she's  grown  indifferent  to  life,  merely  living  everyday  in  indulgence  to  the  one  curiosity  regarding  the  traveler's  presence,  as  well  as  what  the  abyss  and  descenders  shall  do.

.         possesses  a  dendro  vision,  but  has  no  fighting  abilities  whatsoever.  it's  a   mystery  how  she's  still  alive,  considering  she  often  finds  herself  into  trouble  (both  intentionally  and  mistakingly).  but,  considering  the  number  of  times  she's  been  confronted  with  enemies,  she  has  an  extraordinary  skill  of  running  away  and  thinking  of  solutions  outside  the  box.