rustia

i'm really frustrated write now. if anyone has a spare 5 minutes to read a 5000 word email I'm so close to sending. check my rant book. (please do read it, Im on the verge of crying

Quick somebody give me a book that’s finished to read. I have a sudden urge to finish a book

just checked my youtube recap. was expecting: pearl and gem. i got some random shorts creators. IT AINT MY FAULT I HAVE INSOMNIA AND SPEND MY NIGHTS SCROLLING T-T. i'll do better next year

Does anyone just want to give up? Just for everything to slow down for one fucking time. So we don’t feel like we’re on a speeding train all the time? Letting the worry and stress disappear. If people just accepted everyone for who they are and what they represent. Respect their culture, ethnicity, race, gender, sexuality, all of it. It’s so fucking stupid that our world has become what it is. And the funniest thing is that we can easily fix it. Discrimination? Just don’t. World hunger? What if everyone helped and donated? Poverty? Again, contribute. Give those with less opportunities a chance. Pollution? Stop littering, stop using single use items, save the goddamn planet instead of trying to find a new one. What other problems do we even have? Politics? What if we lived in a world where people cared for each other, what if instead of money and laws we just did what’s right and helped one another? But of course, we can’t do that because we’re imperfect. We make mistakes but please just try. It’s hard but worth it. Slow down, enjoy the people and things that matter. Let us live. Stop forcing all this pressure on us and still saying “I love you” if you loved me, you would know that I cry myself to sleep. You would know I’ve been tempted to cut. You would know I punch walls every day just to feel something in this empty body. You would know that all this energy is just an act. You would know that some days I just don’t want to eat. You would know the real me.

Guys I GOT IN!!!!!!! The instructional (non competitive team) coach who was my coach last year said “don’t take instructional for granted, I’ve seen people go from instructional to competitive because they put in the work” and stared right at me. Basically I’m on the team :D

I don’t think anyone cares, but I did my first two tryouts, there’s one more on Friday. I think I can get in, my school hired a coach outside of our school cuz last years coach is doing varsity and the other one retired. That coach seemed really impressed when I went to spike (probably because I could jump so high lmao) and the other two just smiled at me when I looked at them. The actual coach didn’t bother helping me improve my form so idk if that’s a good thing cuz he helped this girl who’s really good at volleyball with her serve but maybe I had good form? Idk but I genuinely love this sport (maybe more than tennis) and I want to play it every dayyyyy

Volleyball tryouts are tomorrow!!! I’m so excited and scared. Last year I was in the instructional, non-competitive team and I’m much better now. Like so much better. One of my friends is tall and got onto the team last year (in my opinion she only got in cuz she’s taller than me and another girl who’s actually better then my friend) but basically she’s really Bragg about it. I used to not be able to set/volley but now I can do it much better than her. And in gym I was in the setters position and she went “oh do you want to switch?” I said no and she kept bugging me about it. I’m really short (155cm/5’1) but honestly who the hell cares. I’m faster than all my taller friends, stronger and I have more endurance. Oh and I can climb things better. Two of my friends are always like “you’re so short” like that’s the only thing you’re better than me at?! And it’s not even that good?!?! I’m also smarter, so like what’s the point? Okay I’m off track but basically I really hope I get in and prove all of those tall people wrong. Wish me luck!!!!

I’m so glad wattpad exists cuz wth. All my friends come from this one school where like EVERYONE is toxic. So there’s this girl who I guess I’m the closest with (I have 3 close friends ig) but like definitely not close enough to come out and like talk about depressing stuff with her cuz she isn’t my best friend. Not in my eyes at least. My best friend isn’t even at the same school as me, we only see each other three times each week at most and we can’t really talk cuz it’s at tennis class. But basically she’s like really immature about serious things and she’s also really sensitive and overprotective. Like this girl broke a bff relationship over a background role in a play—so i obviously don’t want to be that close to her cuz I can barely say anything without her getting mad. Today she literally said that one of my friends(let’s call her C) is obsessed with me cuz what?! I talk to her? I’m genuinely friends with her? And the only reason why we are friends is cuz she was the one who started talking to me first at the start of the school year and we became friends and I got dragged into this friend group that is like falling apart. Everyone else hated on her but I was the only person who didn’t so like it’s natural that we became pretty close?! Ugh I swear if I have to dorm with her in grade 12 (it’s mandatory btw) I will murder someone. Maybe I’ll just not request her and I’ll get someone random and someone I can actually deal with. Also she copies off of me for every test and stuff, it’s getting annoying and I really don’t want to help her cheat. Why is it that I’m like a magnet to toxic relationships.

Hello another post lmao but there’s a huge depressing rant about this situation in my rant book if anyone cares

I think I forgot to announce my post to my followers so look below