spiritualbeings

this message may be offensive
Edit to my previous post, I’m actually gonna just write one shots as they’re easier and I lack the time to plan a story, cause I’m shit at creating multi-chapter stories clearly. :)

spiritualbeings

this message may be offensive
you ever feel like you break everybody you become close to, that you’re so fucking stupid and worthless, and that you may decide to kill yourself in an hour, day or week, but you don’t really know and it scares you.
          
          i’d rather be dead at this stage, and i don’t really care if someone comes at me and calls me an attention seeking bitch, go ahead, i’m done anyways.
          
          not done with life just yet, i’m trying to work through these things, however slowly it’s going to take, i’m nowhere close, but maybe if i think as positively as i can, maybe i can find the will to keep existing.
          
          i’m sharing this here cause nobody else really cares, or would listen, so it’s kind of nice to have it on here, even if nobody does care. 
          
          which is okay, i’ve definitely fucked up my friendships on this platform, and to those people i’m so fucking sorry for leaving, y’all probably don’t even remember me, but i remember you, and a lot of you definitely made me smile on some days, so thank you <3
          
          i’m not self harming, maybe cause i’m too much of a pussy, so perhaps that’s a good sign. my life has just been nothing but loneliness, and repetitive pain, and being sick just makes it even worse. some days i wonder why i’m still here.
          
          my learning stupidity making school torture, having everyone in your family set up for success and happiness, for a future. being so emotionally unstable that even my own mind tells others to fuck off so that they don’t get too close. 
          
          being the odd kid in class, so that no one approaches. hiding behind the mute button so that nobody hears me talk, helping everybody else without giving a shit about myself.
          
          this is a big fucking rant, i need to get it out somewhere, on the off chance that one day i’ll figure out how to be happy again </3
          
          yet again, to everyone i’ve talked to, i love you all.
          - ness
          
          

spiritualbeings

@pinkyrosejem @Vyxinn thank you, i’m definitely trying my best to stay positive, i’m working on finding the right person to talk to atm.
Reply

pinkyrosejem

@spiritualbeings I'm sorry you're hurting right now, I wish I could give you a hug but I can't, so all I can do is tell you that I hope you find your peace and happiness. Please talk to someone about what you're feeling and don't bottle your emotions up. Keep persevering ♡♡♡
Reply

Vyxinn

this message may be offensive
@spiritualbeings Keep being strong and hang in there! Things will get better, even if it doesn't seem like it. It just takes time and a little bit of work. I know we don't know each other well and haven't really talked much (so this might seem kinda weird), but I'm here for you anytime! :)
            
            Just remember that people do care, and that you aren't worthless. It's just your mind being an asshole. Stay strong and don't let it win! <3
            
Reply

spiritualbeings

this message may be offensive
Oi to all of y’all, so there’s this dumb cunt who was mocking the suicide of somebody here on Wattpad. Karmas gonna bite that bitch in the ass, don’t throw a fit for
          my harsh language here, but it’s something that needs to be brought up and stopped.
          
          Just work together and not against each other, for fucks sake.
          
          Also don’t beautify depression, this isn’t related to what happened anymore, but
          I’m sick of seeing instagram/tumblr, and god forbid Tik Tok’s of beautifying depression with some unrelated quote, quit it for fucks sake.
          
          As a matter of fact, just don’t be a cunt. Thanks.
          

spiritualbeings

I really want to give away my ideas, because I’ve worked so hard on them, but I can’t in my state even write them which is frustrating and upsetting for me.
          
          I don’t know though, those unpublished stories such as:
          - Eyes Wide Open. 
          - False Heartbeats.
          - Rotten Wood, Stained Glass.
          
          & others are my children :(
          I will add the descriptions I have so far for them, but unfortunately I doubt I’ll get to write them like I dreamed of.
          
          So, if I decide to do a ‘plot shop’ I’d really like if y’all checked out those three, if it does come out, and if those concepts are interesting I’ll have the information to let you use it :)
          
          It’ll be difficult to loose them, but Id be keen to see how or if others would go about it.
          
          - Ness