sunoocvr3
this message may be offensive
I really have no where else to vent so if you don't mind I'm gonna vent here if you feel triggered by venting then don't read this post. This post will contain sexual things and Self Injuries
Basically this whole fucking tragedy started in 2nd grade I was 8. 8 years old and I got introduced to the internet. That was I think one of the worst fucking things in my life because with the internet comes sexual videos and if an 8 year old gets curious they start watching them. Outcome possible Hypersexuality I fucking hate it so much. I don't want to sexualize myself just to feel loved. I want to feel loved without the sexualizing part and I can't tell any of my friends because they will think it's disgusting. It's always we support your mental health but they draw the line apparently at hypersexuality. I never hated anything more than those urges after doing it you just feel disgusting. Heck I don't even feel human. If anyone tells you they are hypersexual never tell them they are disgusting. We know. We hate it too. Let's switch the theme to my other addiction Self Harm (in the rest of the post I will call it SH). What most people don't understand about SH is you can't stop it as easily as pressing a button. I've struggled with SH since 5th grade and it's always been an off on situation for me. One month I do it everyday heck mutiple times a day. Some months I can go a week without it. But no matter what it's always there. I've never gone a single month without SH. I love it and hate it. I injure myself because I hate myself and I think I deserve all this pain atleast that's how it started. Today I don't hate myself but I don't love myself either but I still SH because it has become an addiction. I get triggered by the simplest shit like blood or razors. I can't look at my left wrist anymore without feeling dissapointment and disgust. Thank you for listening if you read this I'm really thankful some random person on the internet cares to listen to my stupid story.
