Heyy! In my opinion your writing is very pleasant and the concept of the book is very interesting. I’d think that it’d better if you expanded a little more on the events going on and the internal emotions/ thoughts of the characters. I would also say that the concept of the book is abstract and to make it easier to “world-build” this book explaining in depth how things look such as the surrounding, the buildings, environment etc makes it easier for people to create a visual for your book. I really like that you have a page dedicated to explaining the characters’ aesthetics, personalities, etc.