I'm not one to fall for someone, I swore myself to the Doctor, swore that I would never date or marry someone that wasn't him, and O have failed at that. I was in a relationship recently and I realized within twenty four hours that I didn't like this guy enough to date him, I let it go on for three weeks, let homecoming go by and then I called it off. Before that, I was in love with someone, his name was Conner, and I will admit that what I felt for him was love, because when I think about him all the memories and emotions come flooding back and they stay there, until I see, him. He makes me feel the same way I felt about you, Conner, he makes my heart beat faster, my body sings a song, and I try and get him to notice me, to like me. But I've come to realize that if I told my crush, it would only make things awkward, I learned it the hard way. So, I won't tell him, ever. And as much as it pains me to never tell him, to know that he would never like me back, I'll be there for him. I'll be his sister, his best friend, anything he needs, I want him happy and if him being happy means that I don't tell him I like him, then so be it. I will not screw up a friendship again, I'll avoid him at all costs without seeming mean and stand offish. It will save my peace of mind, and allow me to date other boys. Just because I am letting this go unnoticed doesn't mean that I don't imagine, that I don't dream. I do dream, but dreaming only wounds the heart. I will do everything in my power to get rid of these feelings, I'm scared of getting close to people, I've been hurt too many times. I'll be whatever he needs me to be until he dies. I love him and we'll just continue to be friends, distant friends. I'll die with this secret before I ever tell him how I feel. For once in my life, I'm a normal teenage girl.