@theflowergirl_18
After a long pause, I decided to start eriting my story again, and poetry will also come out soon. You guys can check it out and give me feedback that would make me very happy and would use me to improve my writing skills. Thank you. Hope you will like my stories and poems. ;) greetings and love you all: bookworm girl
Hey! :) I hope you update your poetry soon!
@KrissyAsh hey, yes I am waiting for inspirations and time of course ;) but really glad, someone wants to read them actually :)
Hi! Thank you so much for checking out my book "Hitman & Co"! I really hope you enjoyed the chapters you have checked out! :) have a lovely weekend xx
Aww that's so sweet to hear! Thank you! I will defiantly check out one of your works as a massive thank you! x
@annarsiitonen Hi! No problem, I think you did a good job. I am excited to read more. If you have time you can check out my works too. To you too :)
Thanks so much for voting and commenting on my stories! It means a lot! :) I really appreciate it! I look forward to reading more of your poetry! You are such a good writer!
When you have some time, could you check out my stories Fated to be with and Just A High School Crush? I would love to hear your feedback on them!
Thanks so much for the follow back! :) I really enjoyed reading your poetry!
Last 6 lines for the sonnet
Imploring now the moon my eyes
above ---
The moon that sits in peace so
heaven high ---
Why did you take away my dear
friend's love?
Why did you steal away my dear
friend --- why?
No answers ... but each night appear
new dreams
That bless me; she is here with me,
it seems.
Even Shakespeare wandered away from iambic pentameter. Look at Sonnet 29. Look at line 5. It does not start out iambic with the word"wishing." Don't worry about being exact. You have excellent language ability.
TO. THE. MOON.
The icy night is as my icy heart,
But sadness that had hurt Xi now ----
don't mind.
The sky creates for me its lovely art.
Its stars that shine are beaming there
entwined.
The moon with pride hangs likewise in
the sky
The stars and moon and I seem
without end,
Though with the night I'm left with
lonely cry.
Such sad thoughts: "Can this poor
heart ever mend?"
End of first 6 lines
If I am writing too much, please tell me. Don't quit your effort to write a sonnet in iambic pentameter. You speak 4 languages, so you have wonderful ability to sense rhythmic flow & pattern of words. Follow each of 5 unstressed syllables with a stressed syllable. Study how I did it with your poem. You can do it. Don't give up.
You mentioned that you enjoy Shakespeare & his sonnets. Your poem "To the Moon" had sonnet-like rhyming & a final couplet-like few lines at the end, just like a sonnet.
I would like to comment on your last few lines & then refer you to Shakespeare's Sonnet 29. They are so alike! Here is why:
You have such sadness & remorse that you have lost a love, but your words also say that when you think about your lost love you have feelings of joy as you remember him. In the final couplet of Sonnet 29 Shakespeare says that even though he is a sad person because of things that have happened in his life which he regrets, when he remembers his loved one, he becomes so happy that then he would not even change places with kings for possessing the memory of his loved one.
The comparison in your final verses & Shakespeare's final couplet are very similar in my eyes. And I think those words are sensitive & meaningful.
@RobertLipman thank you :). Yes I have actually written it for school. We were assigned to write a sonnet just like Shakespeare, with the same iambic pentameter, rhyme shema, but after hours of trying I gave up. That's why I have written it in first place :). But thanks for the feedback :)