@Marie_Murphy I honestly really enjoyed your story! I like that Riley was strong and powerful while still being a caring, good person. Rafe was a highlight, obviously ;) and I felt like the major plot points came together really well so good job on that.
I don't usually leave feedback but I think it's cool of you to track me down so here's a list of what I noticed. Do with it what you will
- At the start of the book, I got the impression that Gran was deathly ill and had been for some time, so I was confused when Riley turned out to be the soul Rafe had come to reap. It would be helpful if you elaborated on the nature of the sickness or gave a good explanation for this.
- Your main characters came together very well, but I felt like several of the side characters were lacking. For example, you explained that Kat was mean but didn't show that well in her character - I was wildly confused during the confrontation with Fawn. Also, the relationship between Arden and the redhead guy (sorry, I can't remember his name) felt fairly random and not explained well.
- The bounds and limits on Riley's powers could've used further explanation. She was very powerful when defending Rafe from the angel assassins and when putting up the dome, but very weak when fighting the 13th coven.
- Also, I noticed several fight scenes where I lost track of what was happening. I think itd be worth your time to double check and maybe even get a second opinion on those as you write/edit them so they end up clearer and more enjoyable for readers.
I know this might seem like a lot, especially for a start up author. I really do think you did an exceptional job and I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Keep up the good work! I'm excited to read the sequel!
