I'm sorry that I've been away for so long, I just can't talk to everyone at once and with all these different friends I have online, and all the thoughts running through my mind, I was bombarded with thoughts. I didn't know what I'd gotten myself into, and with my s/o of about 2 years broke up with me, I was just fed up with life. I hadn't attempted suicide since I met them, they where my everything and I could always rely on them; I relied on them a little too much, to tell the truth. I was wrong and am wrong about so many things, and it's hard to swallow my pride when so many people look up to me for whatever reason. I just don't understand how someone could 'care' for me so much, then leave me in the dark. In short, I'm alive, I got back together with one of my ex girlfriends and I need a slow introduction back into speaking with people. Please, please be gentle with me and I will do the same for you. I don't know how to handle myself sometimes, and I know I'm being 'precious' about things, but, I can't take anymore pain. I just want to be normal.