Undercover Dolphin

Update:
          Not that anyone reads my rants but I'm almost done with the first page of the story. Almost 400 words. Yay! 
          Writing really humbles your perfectionist trait huh? 

So I've been planning for a really long time to write a story. Not just a one-shot but with chapters and all. I always had this idea of a forbidden romance during the great war. So now I decided to start writing it. It's not a gonna be easy, it's gonna be a long long journey until I get it done. But I'm determined. I love war stories, they are so intriguing to me and I'm searching A LOT of info for the story. I've been doing research for 4 days now and writing down roughly what I want to to happen in each chapter. It's also very difficult when English is not your first language and you want to write the story in English. I'm so excited about it and really invested. I've got the title, I've got the characters' roles (soldier louis, combat medic harry), I've 163 words and it just took me an hour to decide the perfect words to start the next paragraph. Apart from endings (which I always struggle to write because I don't want to let go of the story and I want it to be good and worthy of the rest of the read), I think it takes up the most time to write the beggining/first chapter. Cause you want to get people hooked, give the reader the info they'll need without being annoyingly descriptive and at the same persuade them to keep reading. You don't want to be vague or confusing, but captivating and interesting. So as the perfectionist I am, I'm gonna take my time with the first chapter until I'm proud of it. But I'll keep adding to my notes random dialogues meant for chapter 6. 
          xxx - Del

Do you guys believe in love at first sight? 
          
          That question is totally awkward random but I just got into a kind of a fight with my mum. It was mostly my fault, I'm just too proud to apologise. I just snap at her for no reason sometimes, maybe cause I'm in a bad mood or angry with myself. Anyway, I think maybe I have anger issues o something and it affects people around me. I always think about it after and how I don't want to be like that but then it happens again. It's as if I can't help reactinf that way

Hi there! So I just published a one shot. It's kinda long but it's the first story I've ever finished so if you wanna give it a chance and read it, I'd be thanful <3
          

Here crying in bed cause I might have carpal tunnel syndrome for crocheting too much. I don't want to even tell my momcause shetold me this would happen. I'm an idiot and  i hate myself rn

So I'm turning 23 and I'm feeling miserable. I always love to celebrate. Bit this year I just feel so empty, and like my life is slipping out of my fingers. I don't feel 23 and I don't want to keep growing cause I'm missing out of so much stuff but I also don't know how everyone is doing what they are supposed to at their age. I hate that I haven't accomplished anything.This is gonna be a shitty day for sure

So this is the thing: at the beggining of 2017 a new boy entered my school and I literally fell in love at first sight. He was gorgeous and half the people in my class were drooling over him. My friends obviously knew that I really liked him. A few months passed by and the excitement died down for everyone except me, and he became part of my group of friends. Each month I fell more in love with him because of his personality. I stared at him constantly and tried to find any excuse to touch his arm or his hair. Anyways it was clear he didn't like me. He like pretty grils and I'm not one, I'm just a friend. And wasn't being oblivious, I can see where I'm not wanted. But still I ended up doing some embarrassing things in front of him and that was a turn in our friendship cause I'm sure he realized I was obsessed with him. By the end of that year I told my friends I was over him cause he was just our dear friend. But the truth is I never stopped loving him. We kept being friends and I let him go a little bit since 2021, like I don't think about him often or I'm not deeply in love with him like before. I think it helps that we are older and  busier and we don't see each other much. But I will always have a soft spot for him cause he was my first love. 

Does anyone else feels like you are doing everything wrong? Like you can't catch a break 

I was just thinking about the boy I was in love with for so long (5 years) and now I want to love someone again. But let ir be requited cause I'm not sure I can stand to love someone for years on end again just for them not to be interested in me in the slightlest

I know I said I'm trying to not look into larrie too much, but I still read fanfics about them. I figure it's no harm if people write fictional stories about them or read them. They make fanfics shipping the most random real people so...
          It's just fiction.
          Plus Unbelievers it's kinda my comfort book. I always come back to it when I feel lonely and sad and I want to feel loved.