lately, i’ve been feeling like i’ve losing control of myself. i keep getting short of breath, n i’m way too sensitive. i don’t even know why.
ever since i’ve been with her, that weak part of me i’ve always kept hidden just… came out.
ik it’s probably a good thing, i used to bottle it all up, but at the same time, it could get really bad if this keeps going.
i just hope she doesn’t think i’m messed up bcs of her. the thing is with her, i opened up the side of me i usually keep locked away. bcs i know she’s my home.
i showed parts of me i was never supposed to show, my sadness, my pain.
i used to always say, “i have to survive,” but now? just staying alive feels exhausting.
i’m only holding on for the people who still care about me, who still stay. but aside from that, it’s just… heavy. i still have dreams i haven’t reached yet, but damn… it’s so heavy. something feels off in my head. i wanna die. like, always.
it’s not like i’d ever say, “i’d die for you.”
byt i do keep saying, “i’ll stay alive for you.” even when this world feels too damn much.
i wanna end it all. i’m tired. always.
what am i supposed to do?
i keep wanting to end it.