If pain were given, that bond was true and incarnated. And humans truly exist only when they can experience pain, and they have loved, consciously or unconsciously. In this way, one's eyes are opened to the fabric of the world. When one has the ability to feel pain, the being truly practices a true, that is, living coexistence, beyond merely mechanical and spatial coexistence. Without pain, we have neither loved nor lived. Life is sacrificed for comfortable survival. Only a living relationship, only a true coexistence, can give pain. On the other hand, lifeless, functional coexistence does not give pain even when it is destroyed. It is pain that distinguishes living coexistence from dead coexistence.

Pain is a bond. A person who rejects all painful states is incapable of forming a bond. Today we avoid deep relationships that can cause pain. Everything happens within a comfort zone where pain is suppressed. In In Praise of Love, Alain Badiou quotes an advertisement slogan for a dating portal: "It's not difficult at all to fall in love without pain!" The other as pain disappears. The other as a sexual object, thing.