KPOPFOREVER1004

HAIIIIISSS I WAS DEAD AHH LWK BUT HOW IS U ?!

YAYYYY HAII POOKAYYY<33

Yet again, another venty moment ig.
          
          Just a few minutes ago, I was finishing my homework, all of which has taken me about 3-4hours to do. My Mum decided to start screaming at me from downstairs, and when I came down, she was accusing me of doing something else cause I've 'taken to long to complete it.' She knows fully well that I have mocks in just over 2 months as well. Then she told me that if I didn't complete the rest within 10 minutes, she would be forcing me to drop one of my subjects, but so far I am on target for all of them and she keeps saying that. So I rushed through it cause I don't want to drop a subject, and now I'm sure that I've gotten all the answers wrong and I'm stressing out. Now she's shouting for me again, so I'm gonna have to go.

I don't usually write on this, but I needed to vent openly for once.
          
          Today is yet another day where I just want to curl up and cry. Feels like an every day thing now. My Mum never seems to understand how much she is breaking her children through every word she says. I'm sick to death of putting on a fake smile for her and everyone else, just because she wants to see me act happy. She doesn't seem to know that I'm never happy anymore, every day feels like a chore and I'm distancing myself slowly from everyone, other than a certain few. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to anymore, cause everyone is going through their own issues rn, and I'm the one who needs to sort them out and comfort them, cause I feel like im supposed to be the mature one in the friend group. My mum has forced onto me certain traitd thst i wish i didnt have. Not many people would think this, but im very introverted, and i dont like leaving the house anymore. But i have to, else she will get mad. I do everything i can to impress her, but why can't she see that? I feel like my life only consists of studying and faking a smile. The only lifeline I have rn is my music. But even that is starting to hurt me, realising that the only reason I feel good is some lyrics and a melody. Why is life so hard for me? Then again, other people have it worse, so ig I'm in no place to complain.
          
          Sorry about this, I just really needed somewhere to write my thoughts out.

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