1. RUN JUST RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN
2. you have to go give your cat a shower if you don't have a cat a unicorn works to
3. you have to take you pet rock on a walk
4. Tell them that you have to feed the people in the basement so they don't starve
5. Tell them that if you don't get inside the police will catch up
6. My brother-in-law's friend's father's grandmother's sister's aunt's turtle died, and yes, it was a tragic death. I simply can not go into the details!
7. My fortune teller advised against it.
8. I have a court hearing at the same because I stole the last cookie. What a coincidence?!
9. I am writing a love letter to my ________ (insert your crush)
10. I promised to help Ashley clean the toilet at the same time. She doesn't like doing it alone; she gets nervous that she will fall in! Some kind of toilet phobia(a weird name I can't remember for some reason...)
11. I need to spend some serious time worrying about a good excuse as to why I don't want to do anything tonight. :).
12. I do not usually go out on days that end with the letters "day". Sorry, personal preference.
13. People are blaming me for World War III, and I am trying to be a peacemaker.
14. Unfortunately there is a disturbance in the force, and it is not with me right now. I never go anywhere without the force, Skywalker strongly advises against it.
15. My plot to take over the presidency of the book club is thickening, and I must stay home to make sure everything is working out smoothly.
16. Obama is coming over tonight for some tea and crumpets. At least that is what his text stated. And like they say, never ditch the President, he likes his tea time!
17. My hamster needs a good washing! He was playing with the pigs in the mud today. Stupid hamster!
18. I am teaching my parrot to sing Adele's hit song "Someone Like You". Why? Because it is a catchy song! Sheesh, no need to judge me!
19. I need to double check all of the expiration dates on my milk. You can never be too sure. And I love my Cheerios in the morning!
20. Sorry, but I can't do anything for the next few hours. I am allowing my food to digest. You can never play it too safe!
21. I am planning on going downtown to try out the new Wendy's. I hear they can make a mean burger! Did you know they had just opened up?!
22. My comfort zone and I are sipping our coffee and enjoying some bonding time. I don't like to leave my comfort zone.
23. I left my body in my other clothes, and those clothes are currently in the washer. (At least I wash my laundry unlike the Wimbledons!)
24. My socks are matching! This is an natural disaster, an emergency!
25. The ceiling tiles in my living room need to be recounted. Susan and I were having a debate on the count last night, and I must prove to her that I am right!
26. I must eat more white dots; the monsters have not turned blue yet.
27. I am being deported Friday night, sorry I will not be able to make it. Oh, the boring and lifeless event is Thursday night? I am getting deported Thursday night, that is what I meant to say. Sorry, the sleep must be getting to me
28. I have lost my lucky rat's tail. Sorry, but I never go out without it!
29. I must get to the bottom of this Cracker Jacks box so I can play with the toy. I heard it is a slinky! I love slinkies!
