sing the meow mix song over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again
Buy a laser beam pen and dance it around the floor until their curiosity is peeked then turn it off when they pounce on it and watch the look of sheer bewilderment, confusion and injustice on their faces.
Let that perfect pet get all comfy and snugly on your knee while you're watching your favourite show and get up and change chairs at every advert break.
Shut a door, any door and that will be the one they want into.
Dress your cat up in dolls clothes complete with bonnet and take pictures to cement the embarrassment making sure to use a flash that they can't help but look at 'til their seeing sun spots!
Fuss over a cuddly toy, while your cat is watching. Stroke the toy and tell it how wonderful it is, whilst completely ignoring your cat.
Play a game called “It’s Raining”, whenever your cat finds you in the bath, or with your hands in water. The cat will get wet and angry. Pretend to be sympathetic about the unexpected weather.
Keep turning your head suddenly and staring at your cat intently. The cat will feel incredibly insecure and flooded with adrenaline. Priceless.
Speak to the cat, in its own “language”, remembering to make it the most grotesque parody possible. The cat will be embarrassed and confused. With luck, you might even meow something offensive
put him in a tutu
Point out dirty fur for them
While they are licking and cleaning themselves, take a finger and tap them and say "you missed a spot". Most will then start licking that spot. Then, pick out another spot of imagined dirty fur and point that out. Repeat until the cat puts its paw on your hand. You've successfully annoyed the cat.
Stare at it
Staring at cats is considered aggressive behavior so only do this to cats who know you well. If you put your face one foot in front of the cat and stare at it, it will eventually swat you in the head and then walk away. Pull out a toy and then play with the cat awhile. It will then know you were just initiating play.
Blow air on them
If they are laying near you, just gently blow on their fur. If they look at you, stop and pretend like you weren't doing anything.
Claw hand
This maneuver is quite aggressive and the cat most likely will swat you. Shape your hand like a bird claw and then just hold it about a foot in front of the cats face. The cat will lay back its ears but most likely won't attack. If the hand is moved directly over the cats head, most cats will attack it.
When your cat 'plops' your lap, start exercising him. Kitty leg lifts are the best!
Buy him a leash and take him for a walk. Or a drag.
Get your cat a Lion Cut at PetSmart.
Randomly shine a flashlight up the wall, then turn it off.
Buy your cat a costume or two and play dress up. Our cat looks very sweet in the princess costume we originally bought for the dog.
Dunk it in a bathtub of ice cold water
Feed it old tangerines
Follow it around everywhere, and smile constantly
Flip it over, stick your face in its belly, and go "PHHHHTTTT!!!
Bait it with a newspaper or magazine you're pretending to read. When it is about to sit on top of it, suddenly pull it away. Laugh
Stare at it face to face, and make all the cat and "meow" noise variants you know, as if you are attempting to communicate in its "native language"
Pet it, while muttering gibberish in a high, ethusiastic voice, such as "oooga looba isha! Ownt yuv a bitty gaddy!" (see also, "Piercisms Generator"
Walk it around your neighborhood on a leash
Style its hair. Use lots of gel
Try and teach it to "sit". Be persistent, and don't give up.
