Definitely Not Dying (camp camp) (maxneil)(COMPLETED)

three

Max had certianly not expected several things. One; to be hiding inside the hospital dumpster with almost two dozen raccoons. Two; to be hiding inside the hospital dumpster with two dozen raccoons AND Neil. And three; to do so with Mr. Honeynuts.

Of course, while Max sat exhausted and away from the raccoons, Mr. Honeynuts did not have that pleasure. He was, currently, being torn to bits by the raccoons.

"Well shit," Max said, "Guess he's died before me. Didn't beat him by long, though. Fuckin shame. Make sure he has a hella cool burial, Neil. Do that viking shit Nikki's into."

Neil nodded, eyeing him warily. "You're taking this very well," he noted.

Max shrugged. "Least I won't have to worry about what's happened to him, since I already know. Man, what I'd do to be him right now. A nice, quick death, that he cannot feel because he is a teddy bear."

Almost as if on cue, Max's chest constricted painfully. He gasped, wincing more at how pathetic it sounded than the pain itself. Neil's eyes shined with worry, but Max waved him off. "I am finer than a lady's fine breasts, Neil," Max said.

Neil flushed, not responding, and instead pet a nearby raccoon.

"So the raccoon thing," Max said, "The fuck's up with that?"

Neil shrugged. "Nikki showed me their layout a while back. Thought it might be cool to check out. Seems like Honeynuts found it before us, though," he looked at the corpse of the bear sadly.

"Name one of the bastard children after me," Max laughed, then coughed. "God damnit. Fuck me sideways," he muttered, then continued his previous chain of thought; "Like call one Little Shit, or Hellfire. Max is too lame as hell for a raccoon."

Neil shook his head, sighing, but a small smile remained on his face nonetheless. "How," he asked after a moment, "do you think you got sick?"

Max shrugged. "The fuck's it matter? The hell am I supposed to know, anyway? Been busy dying. Kinda hard to think about the 'how's and 'why's when you can't stop thinking about how nice it'd be to stomach a glass of water."

Neil bit his lip. "I think it mightve been Daniel."

"God!" Max huffed. "Does everything have to be about that bitch? I don't want to hear about some blonde whore while I'm enjoying watching the bloodbath of my beloved. This night's about someone way cooler than some blue-eyed twink, and that someone is me. So no more talk of 'have you been poisoned by a cult' because you've only mentioned it once and I'm already sick of it."

"Okay," Neil said. "I'll avenge you, though, if I ever get the chance."

Max narrowed his eyes at him. "Will you make it bloody?"

Neil smiled. "Of course."

"Good, then," Max leaned against the dumpster wall, content, "Avenge the hell out of me. And kill some of these raccoons, while you're at it. I am NOT as emotionally detached to that bear as I seem."

Neil laughed. "I'll be sure to."