Definitely Not Dying (camp camp) (maxneil)(COMPLETED)

epilogue

Max's lips are so chapped they are bleeding. His mouth is so dry his tongue feels like sandpaper. He is in agony, but more than anything he is pissed.

"Get the FUCK off my tree, Nikki."

Nikki tilts her head at him, making no move to leave.

Max bites back a groan (he wants to stay away from that pussy shit), deciding that this is the worst possible outcome of the past three days. No one except his select few were supposed to know about his ""dying"" thing. Nikki was NOT on the VIP list.

"You look pretty hurt..." Nikki mutters. She moves closer, getting a better veiw of his body in the moonlight, which Max wished she really would not do.

"No shit sherlock," Max snapped, though it was not as aggressive as intended. Dying from dehydration would do that to you. "There's no avoiding it, so I'll tell you, you little shit. This bitch ass body is a bitch ass and I am hashtag-fucking-dying, but if you tell anyone I will haunt the fuck out of you, got it?"

Nikki looks like she's about to cry, but doesn't. Max is glad she doesn't. He already has too much on his plate and doesn't need to add a weeping blue haired shortie to the list. "Okay Max," she said quietly, "It'll be our little secret."

Max refrains from telling her that David, Neil, and Ered already know about it, so it's hardly just a secret between the two of them. Let the bitch believe what she wants, Max thinks. Won't be my problem.

Nikki sits beside him, their backs to the tree. "I think I know who poisoned you," she said. Whatever Max expected her to say, it was not that.

"And who the fuck would that be?"

"Harrison," she said quietly, "His magic mumbo jumbo seems capable of this. It's not a normal diesease, so it could be magical
Plus, he's never liked you."

Max sighs. "Ya got proof of this?"

Nikki shrugs, which Max takes as a no.

"I, for one," Max said, "bet it was David. He was WAYY too certain I'd be fine, dispite all of the evidence againist it. Plus, I am the most iconic fucking hellraiser and a very large thorn in his side. He has plenty reason to have me dead. Seek revenge of both of them, just in case, will ya?"

Nikki nods. She is crying now, but Max makes no move to comfort her. SHE'S not the one dying.

"Before I go to sleep," Read: before I go to sleep and, like, fucking die, like some stupid ass commoner, "I need you to know something."

"What is it, Max?" Nikki asks.

"You're all stupid ass hoes," he says weakly, "and I hate you all."

Nikki frowns, then laughs. Max is ready to write her off as delusional, wondering if what's wrong with him is contagious, when she composes herself. "We love you, too, Max."

Max makes no move to correct her.

~fin.