Liberating (18+)

Prologue

"Keep it together...", I whispered to myself

Leaning right in front of a public bathroom mirror. I swear to god I was fucked up, wasted. The loud music right outside the toilet doesn't help. I felt like I was about to throw up again, it's the 3rd time already. Just as I was about to call Suddenly...

BANG! BANG! My boyfriend knocked loudly at the front door. "Yang, lama banget sih". God i fucking hate him.... But I still care. For some reason, I just can't seem. I don't really have a choice. "Bentar yang, tunggu... bentar".

I moved out of the bathroom and towards the couch. You can see that the whole fucking place is littered with a lot of half empty bottles and cigarette ashes scattered around.

I sat down next to my guy, large guy. Tattooed up to his sleeves. He's smoking his roll while watching the football match right in front of me.

"Kamu mau yang?", he offered me his roll. A slight disappointment slid across my face but I just let it be. It's not like that's the first time...

I accepted it and grabbed the roll from him. Smoked a few puffs before handing it back to him. The whole room's silent.

There doesn't seem to be much here, not in our relationship, not in our place, not in my own self. I don't really see if there's a choice. It's how I was brought up. It's not that I was from a bad family. Maybe the only thing I wanted was freedom back then, and then I got it.

Right after I'm out of my parent's grasp. I can do whatever I want... Well at least that's what I thought to myself. Now that I got my freedom, I lost everything. My parents, my friends, just me. Just my own self and this guy who... cares for me sometimes but spends most of the time working a shitty job. Well at least I had a better job than him.

Gotta admit though, a guy as big and dumb as him can be quite gentle at times. Maybe that's what made me fall in the first place. Gentle but unreliable. Met him back in high school, had the time of our lives. While our class is having a math test, we're out there on his bike, just driving around.

It was far back when we knew we still have a life to live. Now what... We're both stuck in this fucking mess. Should've known. But who could blame him.

We grew up.

Now it's not just love, it's really just the thought of having him that's keeping me there. Like a house, no matter how bad or shitty it is. It still holds a place in your heart. You want to leave but it's not as easy as that. It's been there for you through all the hard times so, you're just there. Stuck.

As for me you ask? Lets just say I come from a simple family. Rules are enforced so much that I just want to leave so fucking bad. Now that I remember it back, I missed those days. I wish I was back but I can't.

I'm tired. I really gotta get to fucking work tomorrow. If you're asking about my job... It's simple. Scam people with high prices and low quality service and don't give them any refund unless you're told to. If you ever give them a refund without asking for permission. You might as well get fuck.

So to do that job as a normal human fucking being. You gotta be so desperate for a job but that's all I have. What the fuck do i have? So yeah, I stick to it and I have to prepare myself every night so I'm prepared to ruin another person's financial life the next day.

Knowing that, I just stood up and moved towards the bedroom. My boyfriend seeing this, doesn't care less. He just looks back at his TV with that idiotic look on his. Why the fuck did I choose this guy over that nice on down in 11th grade... Bruh.

Did I mention i'm on my fucking period? I'm pissed off and a bit horny at the same time. A bit, don't worry, I can finish it when the bedroom door closes but right now. I really have to sleep. I gotta be ready