Mi-Seong's Diary

3

October 29, 2014

4 months after debuting the haters doubled towards me, I never understood why they hated me so much, Is it my physique? Is it my way of being? Is it because I am the sister of the famous Mi-Rang? I never understood  the reason for his hatred.

I can't leave the past behind because my past is still my future, haters continue and are increasing.

Why do they hate someone without knowing her? Yes, we are public figures, but we must not be carried away by appearances.

I've always said "If you don't like a person, ignore him, so you don't hurt him and you stop bothering him" although they say that haters are actually envious.

Today I went to the company, we are preparing for the return after 3 months, the previous return went a bit well, although as I say, who they hate the most is me, I feel that if they tell me something else I will get to me  limit.

Seo Li-Na came to my room and told me not to worry about the bad comments and she was going to sleep with me, which I flatly refused as I didn't want her to see me write in the diary.

It's hard to write, isn't it, but you put a part of yourself into that writing and suddenly from your feelings you have a reaction to what you write, in this case, I'm biting my tongue in order not to cry.

It is also rare for a 22 year old girl to keep a diary, many will say "You are pathetic" or "What are you, 12 years old?"  and to avoid that I do it in secret, as always all my feelings in secret, if I am sad I have to have a false smile on my face.  I'm afraid that if I keep pretending I will lose myself and destroy myself.

If princesses don't cry, then what am I?

Every time I smile my face says "I'm afraid to help me" "Save me!"  "Please don't hate me"

I just want someone to listen to me, someone who understands me, someone who protects me from others including myself and tells me "Don't worry, I'll always be by your side."

Even with girls, I feel insecure, sometimes I envy them, they are still happy, they receive messages like ...

<< You are so beautiful >>

<<Goddess>>

<< You are perfection >>

<< Your voice is beautiful >>

<< Without a doubt my favorite >>

And what I get is ...

<< Hypocrite >>

<<Horrible>>

<<Rubbish>>

<< We don't need you on CAM24 >>

<< Go now! >>

<< Being Mi-Rang's sister doesn't make you famous >>

I'm so tired of this, why me?  Maybe I'll know ... Or maybe never, I don't know.

Goodbye.