Grounded

Chapter 22

 Chapter 22

The ride from Oakdale isn't long, confirming what I'd suspected. I've come full circle and am in CGEF's backyard. I stare at Jeremiah, wishing I could read his mind. Where's he been? How'd he get caught?

I am afraid to say anything. How much does CGEF know about Jeremiah and me? Anything I say could put us at risk.

When the van door opens, Officer Reynolds pulls me out into a dimly lit garage. Unlike my first visit to CGEF, they aren't bringing me through the front door. They force us inside the building and up the elevator to the clinic. I'm so terrified, my legs give out and Reynolds has to half-carry me into a room with a holding cell. With a shove, he directs me toward the bench at the back. I trip over my feet, landing awkwardly on my hip. He removes Jeremiah's cuffs before backing out of the cell.

"Aren't you going to remove mine too?" I ask, my voice trembling.

"No." Officer Reynolds slides the bars shut and leaves the room, offering no further explanation.

Jeremiah's fingers go to work on my wrists, tugging on the steel bands. "They won't budge. Can you...?"

"No. They know what I am. These will drain me," I whisper.

He releases the cuffs and settles his elbows on his knees. With my hands bound behind my back, I try in vain to get comfortable on the bench beside him. "I'm sorry I hurt you," I say. It seems like a good way to start.

"Don't." He turns his face away from me.

"I read your letter and I took your advice. I guess Maxwell was right. How did we think we'd ever make it back home this way?" I whisper.

Jeremiah's head snaps around, his sharp look pinning me in place. "What letter?"

"The letter you left on my bed. You said that I'd forgotten who I was and you were going home after checking on my dad."

He leans his face toward mine. "I didn't leave. You did. You left me a letter."

"What?"

"I found a note from you on my bed." Jeremiah stresses each word. "You said I was in the way. That you wanted to stay with Korwin. That I should go home."

"No. I didn't. I came looking for you when you left."

He slowly shakes his head.

A twisting begins low in my stomach, a compression of razor blades that work their way up my throat and make my eyes burn. "Who?" My voice cracks.

"I don't know." Jeremiah places his hands on my cheeks and lowers his forehead to mine. "But I wouldn't leave you if you didn't want to be left. What's a little thing like you falling in love with someone else to come between lifelong friends?" He gives a weak laugh.

"I never said..." I'm about to finish I loved Korwin, but I stop short. I do love him and Jeremiah knows it. His cornflower blues say it all. I've hurt him, deeply. But like me, he isn't willing to give up everything we have. Our relationship is so much bigger than dating, than the physical. I don't want him the way I want Korwin, but I do want him in my life.

"I hoped you'd understand. It just happened. I never intended to hurt you."

He lowers his hands but his gaze drills into me. "Besides, if we ever make it home, who knows?"

I avert my eyes from the sting of his hopeful tone.

"How could I be so stupid?" he says. "You're not sure you're going home."

I can't argue, although staying in this world doesn't make sense either. I am a freak of nature, and the people here want to use me or destroy me. Maybe both. But when I try to picture myself going back, knowing this thing, this power is inside of me, I'm not sure I could put it aside. Would the Ordnung accept my abilities as a gift from God or condemn me?