This is my first story, so I'd love feedback on grammar, pacing, the plot, or absolutely anything (positive or negative, I'm really trying to just get the hang of this). Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy. :)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Ten miles. That's how far I've walked so far. Two hours, and I've only walked ten miles. At this rate, I'll never get far enough away. I try to walk faster, but I'm tired. After working at home all day, this is too much. Especially considering my introverted nature. My unenthusiasm for all athletic activities is coming back to bite me now.
I shiver as a strong gust of wind blows my way. With the windiness and the fact that snow is starting to fall, I'm starting to realize that my little hoodie is not going to help me much.
Still, I shuffle on, against the wind. It would be better to freeze to death then to go back where I came from. Anything is better than that.
I'm coming up on a bridge when I see him. A man, standing on the edge. He's looking up at the sky, eyes closed. As I sneak closer to him, I hear him muttering. Snow is starting to come down harder, and I'm scared he's going to slip and fall. I want to get his attention, talk him down, but I don't want to surprise him and make him lose his balance, so I stay quiet.
He stops muttering, tilts his head down. The wind blows, and my heart almost stops. He wobbles a little, and I gasp. He turns his head swiftly in surprise and looks at me.
"How long of you been standing here?" his brown eyes are hard and his deep voice is stern.
"N-not too long, sir," I say. I guess his age to be about 25, but I'm 16, so I go with the 'Respect your elders ' logic. I've seen and experienced what happens when you don't respect your elders. Especially men.
"Go away," the man says sharply. "Go away, and pretend you've never seen me." He turns back to face the ocean.
"I c-can't do that, s-sir, " I say, slightly fearful of contradicting him, but not wanting him to do what I think he's going to.
"Why the hell not?!" He turns back, his eyes flashing. And that's when I realize how vulnerable I am. A young girl on her own in the middle of the night. No weapons, no way to defend herself. I shiver, but this time not from the cold. Still, I try to sound brave and not scared of being murdered by a stranger.
"Because, sir, I think you want to kill yourself, so I'm not l-leaving." I do good for most of my little speech, but my voice manages to crack a little at the end. He smiles darkly.
"Look, you'd do best to leave right now. You're right, I am about to kill myself. So think about it: I'm dying anyway. I can kill you, too, and I'd have no punishment. I'm going to Hell anyway." He chuckles at this.
"You wouldn't kill me," I say, although I'm not totally sure of that.
"You don't know me. You don't know the things I've done, " he whisperers, dropping the dangerous act for a moment. The pain on his face, the rawness, shocks me. "If you knew, you'd kill me yourself." I'm afraid, but another part of me aches for him. For a second, I don't see someone scary, someone who just threatened to kill me. I see a scared little boy, desperate to rewrite his wrongs.
"You don't have to do this. You can fix whatever you did. I don't know you, but I can know you. I don't care what you did. You can move on, live the rest of your life right." I'm pleading with him, this stranger that I suddenly care about. I don't even know why. But for some reason, I care about him more than anything else in my life. And I can't let him die.
"Ha! It's too late for that. I can't undo what I've done. The only thing left to do is end it," he announces, and the dark, scary him is back. He looks toward the ocean with new found determination. "Goodbye, girl." He closes his eyes, ready to lean into his death.
"Wait! Before you do, can you..
um...do me a favor?" I ask with vigour, as an idea forms. He looks at me, confused, and raises one eyebrow.
"Why on earth would I-," he starts to say, but I cut him off.
"As one last good deed! You said you've done bad things right? Well, before you die, why not do one last good deed? To help clear your conscience! And to a help a poor girl out?" With this, I put on my most pathetic looking puppy face and look at him expectedly. He glares at me, but I see a smile tugging at his lips.
"Fine!" He says, jumping off the ledge to my side and throwing his hands in the air. As he gets closer to me standing under a street lamp, I notice he's younger than I originally thought. I figure he's 21 or 22. "What do you want?" He asks, exasperated.
"I need you to drive me to a city. Preferably Charlotte." I tell him.
" Charlotte?! That's five hundred miles!" He says in shock that I'd asked such a favor. I just shrugged.
"Hey, you said you had done a lot of bad things." He glares.
"You're impossible. I won't do it."
"Fine. Then, I'll jump with you," I say, walking toward the ledge.
"Oh, no, you won't," he says, grabbing me around the waist, and I flinch as he turns me to face him. But then, I can't help but look at his lips. He's really quite cute.
"And why n-ot?" I try to say this nonchalantly, but my voice catches.
"Because I said so," he says, and I envy how easily he says it. "Come on. I'll drive you to Charlotte. My car is parked over there." He lets go of my waist, and points. I'm a bit sad he's not holding me anymore, but also a bit relieved. I'm not one for a lot of physical contact. I shake these thoughts off and follow him to his car.
YOU ARE READING
Two Lonely Hearts
RomanceTwo strangers, both of whom have gone through a lot in their young lives and are at their breaking points, meet unexpectedly on a snowy night that changes both their lives forever.